Simple Ways to Ask for Feedback from Colleagues

Want better feedback? Stop asking for it. Ask for advice instead. Here’s why this simple shift makes people more helpful, more honest, and way more likely to give you actionable insights 👇 Most people think asking for feedback is the best way to improve. It’s not. The problem? Feedback puts people in critic mode. Most won’t be as honest as they should be. Even when they are, it’s often vague or unhelpful. There’s a better way. Instead of asking, “What do you think?” ask: 💡 “What advice would you give me to make this better?” Why? Three big reasons: 1️⃣ People love giving advice. It’s flattering. It makes them feel valued. When you ask for advice, you’re engaging them as a partner, not a judge. That alone makes them more invested in helping you improve. 2️⃣ It makes tough feedback easier to give. Most people hate being critical—even when it’s justified. But advice allows them to wrap honest feedback in something constructive. They’re not just pointing out flaws; they’re showing you how to fix them. 3️⃣ Advice is actionable. Research shows it doesn’t matter if feedback is positive or negative. What matters most? Whether it gives you a clear next step. Advice naturally leads to solutions, not just opinions. Biggest mindset shift: 🚫 Asking for feedback creates a critic. ✅ Asking for advice creates a partner. The next time you need help, don’t ask for feedback. Ask for advice—and watch how much better the responses get. Try it today: What’s one thing you’re working on that could benefit from better advice? Drop it below and see what happens 👇

If feedback always feels uncomfortable, here’s one way to shift the dynamic. I talk to a lot of managers, and one common frustration I hear is this: “My direct report just can’t take feedback.” But sometimes, the challenge isn’t about receiving feedback. It’s about not knowing how to invite it in. If that’s ever been you, here’s something simple you can try: Be the one to ask first. Instead of waiting for vague, reactive feedback, try getting specific. Say something like: "Hey, I’m trying to stay more organized while managing this project. From your perspective, am I on track—or are there things I could tighten up?" Now your manager has something clear to respond to. If they do point out areas to improve, chances are, they’ll also offer something concrete to help you get better. Even better? They’ll likely see you as self-aware, proactive, and open to growth—even if you’re asking about something you struggle with. That small shift not only changes the tone of the conversation—it builds trust. Because asking for feedback isn’t just about improving performance. It’s about showing up with ownership. Have you tried this approach before? Or do you have a tip that’s helped you give or receive feedback more easily? Drop it in the comments, I’d love to hear what’s worked for you.

Early in my career, I made the mistake of asking for feedback poorly. Here's what I did wrong and how you can do better: I'd ask for vague feedback such as "How can I improve?" This approach fails because it's reactive (focuses too much on what you did wrong) and it puts too much work on the feedback provider. Instead, shift to future-focused and specific questions. Three better questions to ask: 1/ “How could I make this deliverable 50% better in the future?” 2/ “For future proposals, what would make you LOVE something instead of just like it?” 3/ “What are 2 things I can improve on XYZ next time?” Focus your question on improvement and moving forward (not blame or criticism). Remember, the quality of your questions determines the quality of the feedback.

I need to say this. If the person on the other side has to decode your ask? You’ve already lost. 🫣 Earlier this week, I had 2 conversations that left me thinking… “Wait…what are you asking for?” One person wanted me to join their book club discussion. The other person wanted help promoting their nonprofit. But neither one actually asked. They hinted. They hoped. They wrote long, thoughtful messages. But the ask? Buried or missing. We do this ALL the time—especially at work. We want something. But instead of asking clearly, we… ➡️ Drop vague lines like “let me know your thoughts” ➡️ Ramble around the request ➡️ Hope they magically pick up on the hint Here’s what to say instead 👇 📌 Want feedback from your boss? Don’t say: “Happy to hear your thoughts.” Say: “Could I grab 15 minutes this week to get your feedback before I send this to [exec name]? I want to make sure it reflects the team’s impact.” 📌 Asking for an intro? Don’t say: “Sounds like you know them well!” Say: “Would you be open to connecting me with her? I’d love to ask how she transitioned into that role.” 📌 Want to be considered for a promotion? Don’t say: “I think I deserve a promotion.” Say: “I’d love to go up for Senior Manager next cycle. Could we talk about what specific outcomes I’d need to deliver this quarter to be in the running?” 📌 Want someone to review your resume or portfolio? Don’t say: “Would love any feedback!” Say: “Would you be open to giving a 5-minute gut check on my resume? I’m applying for [specific role], and I want to make sure it directly highlights my skillset.” 📌 Want to shadow someone? Don’t say: “Would love to learn more about what you do.” Say: “I’m working on improving my strategic thinking. Could I sit in on one of your roadmap meetings next month?” Clarity = kindness. Specificity = confidence. A clear ask = a higher chance of yes. ✅ ♻️ If you found this post helpful, repost it to your network to help others ask for what they want. Follow me, Jenny Wood, for more unconventional business and career tips.