Communication In Conflict Management

I used to believe that being assertive meant being aggressive. The reality is that you can both assert yourself and be kind. 5 proven tips to be more assertive (without being aggressive): 1/ Express your needs and wants clearly Why: Being direct and honest about your needs helps others understand your perspective and enables them to respond appropriately. It demonstrates self-respect and confidence in your own opinions and feelings. How: "I appreciate your input on this project, but I strongly believe we should take a different approach. Focusing on user experience will lead to better conversion. Can we discuss how we can incorporate both of our ideas?" 2/ Use "I" statements to communicate your perspective Why: "I" statements help you take ownership of your thoughts and feelings without placing blame or making accusations. They create a non-confrontational atmosphere that encourages open dialogue and mutual understanding. How: "I appreciate the effort you've put into this presentation, but I have some concerns about the accuracy of the data. I suggest we review the sources together and make any necessary updates to strengthen our case." 3/ Practice active listening and seek to understand others Why: Active listening demonstrates that you value others' perspectives and are willing to engage in a two-way conversation. It helps build trust and rapport, making it easier to find mutually beneficial outcomes. How: "I hear your concerns about the proposed changes to our team structure. Can you tell me more about how these changes will impact your work? I want to ensure that we address any potential issues." 4/ Offer solutions Why: Offering solutions rather than simply stating problems demonstrates your willingness to work collaboratively and find mutually beneficial outcomes. How: "I understand that you want to launch the new feature as soon as possible, but I have concerns about the current timeline. What if we break the launch into two phases? We can release the core functionality in the first phase and then add the additional enhancements in the second phase. This way, we can meet the initial deadline while ensuring the quality of the final product." 5/ Learn to say "No" when necessary Why: Saying "no" to unreasonable requests or demands demonstrates self-respect and helps you maintain control over your time and resources. It also helps prevent burnout and enables you to focus on your priorities. How: "I appreciate you considering me for this new project, but unfortunately, I don't have the capacity to take on additional work at the moment. I'm committed to delivering high-quality results on my current projects, and taking on more would compromise this. Can we revisit this opportunity in a few weeks when my workload is more manageable?" What’s one thing that helped you become more assertive? PS: Assertiveness is a form of self-care that also nurtures healthy, respectful relationships with others. Image Credit: Jenny Nurick

💔 “The Brilliant Woman Who Was Interrupted 7 Times in 5 Minutes” During a leadership workshop, one of my clients shared something that stayed with me. Her voice broke a little as she said: 👉 “I counted… seven times in five minutes. They cut me off. By the end, I just gave up speaking.” I watched her eyes as she spoke. They weren’t just narrating an incident—they were telling the story of exhaustion. She described the scene in detail: The sharp tone of the first interruption. The laughter after the second. The shuffling of papers as if her words didn’t matter. By the fourth, her shoulders slumped. By the seventh, silence swallowed her brilliance. That moment pierced me. Because she didn’t just lose her voice in that meeting—she lost an opportunity to influence. And the room lost the chance to hear an idea that could have shaped strategy. 🚧 The Obstacle Gender bias doesn’t always announce itself. It creeps in quietly. In how often a woman is cut off. In how her ideas are overlooked until someone else repeats them. In how she’s told—implicitly or explicitly—to “be patient, wait your turn.” And here’s the truth: brilliance shouldn’t need permission to exist. 💡 How I Helped as a Communication Skills Trainer We worked on three things: ✔️ #AssertiveCommunication – rehearsing responses to interruptions that were firm but professional. ✔️ Power phrases – short, sharp lines that create space and command attention. ✔️ #ExecutivePresence – voice control, body language, and the subtle shifts that make people pause and listen. ✨ The Transformation At her next boardroom meeting, she walked in differently. She wasn’t waiting for permission. She wasn’t hoping not to be interrupted. She was ready. She didn’t just speak. She owned the table. And the most powerful part? The very people who had once interrupted her… leaned in, took notes, and listened. 🌍 The Learning As leaders, we must recognize that #GenderBias in communication is not imaginary. It’s real. It’s silent. And it shapes careers every single day. That’s why assertiveness training isn’t optional for women leaders. It’s #Leadership. It’s #Survival. It’s #Power. ⸻ 🔑 For Leaders Reading This: Have you ever witnessed brilliance being silenced in your boardroom? The bigger question is—what did you do about it?

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

I don't class conflict as a "waste" because not all conflict is bad...but unresolved conflict can be VERY wasteful in organizational improvement efforts. As a Lean and Leadership Coach, I have worked with companies to develop systems and skills to reduce harmful conflict, in order to make continuous improvement a reality. People ask me - how do you know there's conflict in the first place? Do we have to assess it in some way? Short answer yes. The problem has to be visible. My own approach is to ask questions that help me understand it through my 1:1 interviews as part of my Discovery phase. Here's what I (and many studies) see as the 5 of the main causes of workplace conflict...and how to resolve them 👇 👉 Communication Conflict: Studies have found that 39% of workplace conflicts arise from communication differences. I coached 'Joan' who told me that she and her direct report ('Jim') only interact when there's a problem. They both want the same results, but they don't spend time together proactively figuring out how to get them. Resolve it through: ✔️ Holding regular 1:1 and team check-ins ✔️ Reviewing communication and information flow as part of process improvement efforts ✔️ Improving meeting management 👉 Values Conflict: Research indicates that 18% of conflicts are due to clashing values. I see it in teams all the time- 'Mark' valued speed and 'Greg' valued precision. It turned into personal conflict as they were both too set on their own values, to try and understand where the other is coming from. Resolve it through: ✔️ Focusing on shared goals and common ground. ✔️ Respecting different viewpoints ✔️ Investing in people and leader development, to develop these skills in everyone. 👉 Resource Conflict: Studies found that 33% of workplace conflicts are due to too much work without enough support or a clash over differing cross- departmental priorities. A simple example- the Sales team rush orders to hit targets but Operations burns out trying to deliver. Resolve it through: ✔️ Being fair and transparent about resources. ✔️ Prioritizing tasks when resources are limited. ✔️ Working together to find creative solutions. 👉 Personality Conflict: One study found that a whopping 49% of workplace conflicts are attributed to clashes between personalities or egos. This comes down to how people behave, how they judge others and their level of EQ. Resolve it through: ✔️ Learning about different work styles. ✔️ Investing in personal development ✔️ Investing in team EQ development and team bonding 👉 Role Conflict: Unclear roles and responsibilities can cause confusion and disputes. Approximately 22% of workplace conflicts is said to stem from unclear roles. Resolve it through: ✔️ Clearly defining roles and responsibilities. ✔️ Reviewing job duties regularly and using them in 1:1's. ✔️ Discussing and fix any role overlaps. How should we be dealing with conflict in our organizations? Leave your thoughts below 🙏

In the last major internal conflict I had, I stopped and thought: am I the first one to live this?! Hostility. Threats. Ah, and I was in the car on the way back from the hospital from giving birth. Nice welcome back 😂 Managers spend up to 40% of their time handling conflicts. This time drain highlights a critical business challenge. Yet when managed effectively, conflict becomes a catalyst for: ✅ Innovation ✅ Better decision-making ✅ Stronger relationships Here's the outcomes of my research. No: I wasn't the first one going through this ;) 3 Research-Backed Conflict Resolution Models: 1. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model (TKI) Each style has its place in your conflict toolkit: - Competing → Crisis situations needing quick decisions - Collaborating → Complex problems requiring buy-in - Compromising → Temporary fixes under time pressure - Avoiding → Minor issues that will resolve naturally - Accommodating → When harmony matters more than the outcome 2. Harvard Negotiation Project's BATNA Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement - Know your walkaway position - Research all parties' alternatives - Strengthen your options - Negotiate from confidence, not fear 3. Circle of Conflict Model (Moore) Identify the root cause to choose your approach: - Value Conflicts → Find superordinate goals - Relationship Issues → Focus on communication - Data Conflicts → Agree on facts first - Structural Problems → Address system issues - Interest Conflicts → Look for mutual gains Pro Tips for Implementation: ⚡ Before the Conflict: - Map stakeholders - Document facts - Prepare your BATNA - Choose your timing ⚡ During Resolution: - Stay solution-focused - Use neutral language - Listen actively - Take reflection breaks ⚡ After Agreement: - Document decisions - Set review dates - Monitor progress - Acknowledge improvements Remember: Your conflict style should match the situation, not your comfort zone. Feels weird to send that follow up email. But do it: it's actually really crucial. And refrain yourself from putting a few bitter words here and there ;) You'll come out of it a stronger manager. As the saying goes "don't waste a good crisis"! 💡 What's your go-to conflict resolution approach? Has it evolved with experience? ♻️ Share this to empower a leader ➕ Follow Helene Guillaume Pabis for more ✉️ Newsletter: https://lnkd.in/dy3wzu9A

Every successful business runs on trust—but trust without systems is chaos waiting to happen. When we started, like many founders, we relied on good relationships and verbal agreements to kick off projects—especially those that came through referrals. It worked, until it didn’t. One tricky client experience taught us that while trust is great, it doesn’t replace clear communication and proper systems. And if you’re serious about scaling your business, having processes in place is non-negotiable. Here’s what we implemented to level up: 1️⃣ AI-Powered Meeting Notes: Every meeting now has an AI assistant capturing detailed notes, ensuring alignment and transparency. Summaries are shared with clients right after to avoid any miscommunication. 2️⃣ Dedicated Communication Manager: A single point of contact now handles all client communication, making the process more professional and seamless. 3️⃣ Standardized SOPs and Agreements: Every project starts with a signed agreement and SOPs covering everything from onboarding to delivery. It’s all about consistency and clarity. These processes didn’t just make us more efficient—they gave us confidence in how we operate and collaborate with clients. To fellow founders: don’t wait for a tricky client experience to teach you this. Build your processes early—it’s one of the best investments you can make in your business. P.S. What’s one system you swear by in your business? Let’s swap ideas!

I strongly believe that technology can drive processes in a way that builds and strengthens trust between clients & vendors. Tech platform services have made processes in project procurement faster, data-driven, and transparent. Tasks like vendor scouting, assessments, and comparisons that once took weeks can now be done in days. Trust is built when decisions are backed by data and transparency—stakeholders understand why a vendor was chosen. Responsiveness is equally critical; when clients promptly address vendor queries, it fosters confidence on both sides. I remember we worked with a client struggling to find the right vendor for a specialized CapEx project. Through Venwiz, they: - Identified pre-verified vendors in a flash. - Assessed vendor capabilities with over 20+ custom data points. - Used the platform to share updates and ensure alignment with vendors. The result? A faster, more objective, and transparent process that strengthened trust on both sides. For me, the intersection of technology and trust makes decisions more objective and better informed. But these are my experiences, would love to hear your thoughts/additions. #Procurement #CapEx #Trust #Technology

10 minutes into training 40 Fortune 500 execs… I realized I was losing the room. They were nodding politely. But the energy was flat like my TV In a blink, I checked out like they were thinking: ‘We’ve heard this before’ So I stopped mid-sentence. 3 2 1…took a breath, and asked: “How many of you leave tough conversations feeling like you said everything except what you actually wanted to say?” 32 hands went up. Silence That’s when I knew: This wasn’t a “teach” moment. It was a pivot moment. So I scrapped the slide deck And showed them something real: The 4R Framework A tool to turn conversation anxiety into clear, confident communication: 1. RECOGNIZE: Notice the signals Tight chest→racing thoughts→dry mouth Your body’s talking. What is it trying to tell you? 2. REFRAME: Shift the story From: This is happening to me To: This is happening for me How is this conversation helping me grow? 3. RESPOND: Choose your words with intention That’s not fair→ Can we look at this another way? You’re wrong→ Can I share a different perspective? What response would I be proud of tomorrow? 4. REFLECT: Extract the learning Not: That went terribly But: What did that teach me? How can I show up better next time? The shift was immediate. By the end of the session: ✅ 3 people had mapped out tough conversations they’d been avoiding ✅ 2 managers committed to changing how they deliver feedback ✅ 1 leader finally decided to have “the talk” with an underperforming team member That’s the power of clarity under pressure. 📍(Sometimes the first step into corporate feels bigger than graduation itself. I’ve been working on something that will make that step lighter for you. Stay tuned!) P.S. Which “R” gave you the biggest breakthrough? #CorporateTraining #Leadership #CommunicationSkills #EmotionalIntelligence #ManagementTips #LinkedInLearning #ExecutiveCoaching

“I’m done talking!” “This isn’t going anywhere!” “Why do you always twist my words?” These are the phrases that mark the breaking point in so many conversations. As a psychologist, I’ve seen how difficult conversations can spiral into emotional battlegrounds, leaving frustration and resentment in their wake. But here’s the truth: it doesn’t have to be this way. Conflict feels like a storm - it’s intense, overwhelming, and messy. But with the right tools, that storm can clear. The shot in the arm here is Emotional intelligence. Look, here’s the thing about conflict: it’s rarely about what’s said. It’s about how it’s said and how it’s received. When emotions run high, logic tends to take a backseat. This is where emotional intelligence becomes your greatest tool. Here’s how I coach clients to bring EI into difficult conversations: 🟢Pause before you react. Emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness. Recognize your feelings before you let them dictate your response. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” That pause can prevent reactive words you might later regret. 🟢Listen to understand, not to respond. Most people listen to counter or defend. But real resolution begins when you listen to truly understand the other person’s perspective. Ask open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more about why this matters to you?” 🟢Accept emotions—yours and theirs. Often, it’s not the issue itself but the underlying emotions that fuel conflict. A simple, “I can see this is frustrating for you,” can defuse tension and pave the way for meaningful dialogue. Remember, difficult conversations aren’t meant to be easy, but they don’t have to be destructive. Emotional intelligence transforms conflict from a battle into a bridge, it’s a chance to strengthen relationships, deepen understanding, and build trust. So, the next time you find yourself in the heat of a challenging conversation, remember: it’s not just about what you say - it’s about how you listen, connect, and respond. Because conflict isn’t the end of the story. With the right ways, it’s could be the beginning of resolution. The onus is on YOU! #psychology #mindset #emotions #emotionalintelligence #mentalhealth

"I can’t afford to show my team how I really feel." I hear this a lot from leaders - especially those who care deeply about their people. They believe that showing stress, uncertainty, or doubt would only make things worse. So they keep it in. They stay “strong.” They put on the armor. But here’s the paradox: 🦾 When you armor up to protect your team, you often end up doing the opposite. - You block trust. - You create distance. - You make it harder for others to speak up or be real themselves. 🧠 There’s a psychological concept for this: Affective Presence. It’s the emotional atmosphere we bring into the room - the way people feel around us, regardless of what we say. Even if you don’t talk about your anxiety, your team still senses it. Humans are wired that way. And when leaders hide what’s real, it creates tension and confusion, not safety. 💡 What to do about it - NAME IT: “This is tough, and I feel pressure too, but we’ll get through it together” When leaders name what they’re feeling in a calm and grounded way: tension releases. Connection builds. People relax and they engage. 🧠 This is Co-Regulation - a key ingredient of psychological safety. When the leader brings openness and calm, the team feels more secure. And safety is the foundation of high performance and inclusive leadership. So next time you feel like hiding your stress to protect your team, consider this: 👉 Your honesty might be the very thing that unlocks their performance. P.S. Have you ever experienced a leader whose calm honesty made you feel safer? I’d love to hear what kind of affective presence has shaped your experience at work. --------------------------------- 👋 New here? Welcome! I'm Susanna. I help organizations with high-performing, inclusive leadership and culture by fostering psychological safety.