I was shadowing a coaching client in her leadership meeting when I watched this brilliant woman apologize six times in 30 minutes. 1. “Sorry, this might be off-topic, but..." 2. “I'm could be wrong, but what if we..." 3. “Sorry again, I know we're running short on time..." 4. “I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but..." 5. “This is just my opinion, but..." 6. “Sorry if I'm being too pushy..." Her ideas? They were game-changing. Every single one. Here's what I've learned after decades of coaching women leaders: Women are masterful at reading the room and keeping everyone comfortable. It's a superpower. But when we consistently prioritize others' comfort over our own voice, we rob ourselves, and our teams, of our full contribution. The alternative isn't to become aggressive or dismissive. It's to practice “gracious assertion": • Replace "Sorry to interrupt" with "I'd like to add to that" • Replace "This might be stupid, but..." with "Here's another perspective" • Replace "I hope this makes sense" with "Let me know what questions you have" • Replace "I don't want to step on toes" with "I have a different approach" • Replace "This is just my opinion" with "Based on my experience" • Replace "Sorry if I'm being pushy" with "I feel strongly about this because" But how do you know if you're hitting the right note? Ask yourself these three questions: • Am I stating my needs clearly while respecting others' perspectives? (Assertive) • Am I dismissing others' input or bulldozing through objections? (Aggressive) • Am I hinting at what I want instead of directly asking for it? (Passive-aggressive) You can be considerate AND confident. You can make space for others AND take up space yourself. Your comfort matters too. Your voice matters too. Your ideas matter too. And most importantly, YOU matter. @she.shines.inc #Womenleaders #Confidence #selfadvocacy
Conflict Resolution Techniques
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Real conversations at work feel rare. Lately, in my work with employees and leaders, I’ve noticed a troubling pattern: real conversations don’t happen. Instead, people get stuck in confrontation, cynicism, or silence. This pattern reminded me of a powerful chart I often use with executives to talk about this. It shows that real conversations—where tough topics are discussed productively—only happen when two things are present: high psychological safety and strong relationships. Too often, teams fall into one of these traps instead: (a) Cynicism (low safety, low relationships)—where skepticism and disengagement take over. (b) Omerta (low safety, high relationships)—where people stay silent to keep the peace. (c) Confrontation (high safety, low relationships)—where people speak up but without trust, so nothing moves forward. There are three practical steps to create real conversations that turn constructive discrepancies into progress: (1) Create a norm of curiosity. Ask, “What am I missing?” instead of assuming you’re right. Curiosity keeps disagreements productive instead of combative. (2) Balance candor with care. Being direct is valuable—but only when paired with genuine respect. People engage when they feel valued, not attacked. (3) Make it safe to challenge ideas. Model the behavior yourself: invite pushback, thank people for disagreeing, and reward those who surface hard truths. When safety is high, people contribute without fear. Where do you see teams getting stuck? What has helped you foster real conversations? #Leadership #PsychologicalSafety #Communication #Trust #Teamwork #Learning #Disagreement
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Conflict gets a bad rap in the workplace. Early in my career, I believed conflict had no place in a healthy workplace. As I progressed, I realized that it was quite the contrary. The lack of conflict isn't a sign of a healthy work culture, rather it is an indication that important debates, discussions and differing viewpoints are being disregarded or suppressed. This insight revealed another key aspect: high-performing teams do not shy away from conflict. They embrace it, leveraging diverse opinions to drive optimal outcomes for customers. What sets these teams apart is their ability to handle conflict constructively. So how can this be achieved? I reached out to my friend Andrea Stone, Leadership Coach and Founder of Stone Leadership, for some tips on effectively managing conflict in the workplace. Here's the valuable guidance she provided: 1. Pause: Take a moment to assess your feelings in the heat of the moment. Be curious about your emotions, resist immediate reactions, and take the time to understand the why behind your feelings. 2. Seek the Other Perspective: Engage genuinely, listen intently, show real interest, and ask pertinent questions. Remember to leave your preconceived judgments at the door. 3. Acknowledge Their Perspective: Express your understanding of their viewpoint. If their arguments have altered your perspective, don't hesitate to share this with them. 4. Express Your Viewpoint: If your opinion remains unswayed, seek permission to explain your perspective and experiences. Remember to speak from your viewpoint using "I" statements. 5. Discuss the Bigger Objective: Identify common grounds and goals. Understand that each person might have a different, bigger picture in mind. This process can be taxing, so prepare beforehand. In prolonged conflict situations, don't hesitate to suggest breaks to refresh and refuel mentally, physically, and emotionally. 6. Know Your Limits: If the issue is of significant importance to you, be aware of your boundaries. For those familiar with negotiation tactics, know your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement). 7. Finalize Agreements: Once an agreement has been reached, continue the engagement to agree on responsibilities and timeframes. This ensures clarity on the outcome and commitments made. PS: Approach such situations with curiosity and assume others are trying to do the right thing. 🔁 Useful? I would appreciate a repost. Image Credit: Hari Haralambiev ----- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.
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Collaborative and creative problem-solving 🔄 Addressing pressing social and environmental challenges demands a strategic approach. These intricate issues often span various domains and require collective effort. Embracing collaborative and creative problem-solving is not merely advantageous; it's a fundamental necessity. The urgency arises from the imperative to adapt and respond effectively. The "Skills for Collaborative Change: A Map and User Guide" provides a structured framework that underscores the importance of these principles in a holistic manner. The guide encourages the reader to "See the Wider System." It prompts reflection on what is not functioning optimally across an entire system and encourages viewing issues from various connected perspectives. This systemic thinking is crucial for understanding the root causes of complex problems and developing comprehensive solutions. Moreover, "Seeking Alternatives" is a key aspect emphasized in the guide. It encourages looking beyond the immediate context and considering a multitude of possible options, methods, and tools. This approach fosters innovation and helps explore unconventional solutions to challenges that may seem insurmountable. The guide also places a strong emphasis on "Co-creation." It highlights the significance of identifying individuals connected to an issue through their experience or expertise. Collaboratively building solutions from start to finish ensures that diverse viewpoints are incorporated, resulting in more holistic and effective outcomes. In addition, "Creative Facilitation" is underscored, supporting others in sharing their ideas and tailoring facilitation styles to suit their needs. Being open to ideas that may differ from established norms enhances collaboration and creativity, leading to more innovative solutions. Ultimately, the guide encourages taking the initiative to "Initiate Change." It prompts the creation of new spaces and opportunities that empower others to do the same, driving transformative change and inspiring innovation throughout organizations and industries. As businesses grapple with the urgency of social and environmental challenges, the principles outlined in the "Skills for Collaborative Change: A Map and User Guide" become not just best practices but strategic imperatives. This holistic approach to collaborative and creative problem-solving serves as a guiding compass, leading towards more effective collaboration, innovative solutions, and tangible impact on the pressing issues of our time. Source: Skills for collaborative change: a map and user guide #sustainability #impact #purpose #collaboration #innovation #systemsthinking #creativity
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Workplace conflict: your brain takes 0.07s to react. Your career takes years to recover. The truth is that one wrong word can: ↳ Break trust ↳ Limit your influence ↳ Close off opportunities But many professionals unknowingly use phrases that trigger resistance. Here's what works instead: 1. Instead of "That's not my job" ↳ "I see this matters. Let's figure out how to get it done." ↳ Shows teamwork while maintaining boundaries 2. Replace "We've always done it this way" ↳ "I see why this feels right. Shall we explore ideas?" ↳ Positions you as innovative, not stuck 3. Never say "That's not true" ↳ "I see it differently. Let me share my perspective." ↳ Opens dialogue instead of creating defense 4. Drop "You should have..." ↳ "Next time, let's try this approach." ↳ Future-focused, not blame-focused 5. Instead of "I don't have time" ↳ "This is important. Can we schedule time to discuss?" ↳ Shows respect while setting boundaries 6. Never say "Calm down" ↳ "I see this is frustrating. Let's take a moment to reset." ↳ Validates emotions while moving to solutions 7. Drop "You don't understand" ↳ "Maybe we're seeing this differently. Can we clarify what we both need?" ↳ Invites collaboration, not confrontation 8. Replace "It's not a big deal" ↳ "I see why this matters to you. Let's figure out a solution." ↳ Acknowledges impact, builds trust 9. Avoid "Let's agree to disagree" ↳ "We may see this differently, let's see how best to move forward?" ↳ Keeps momentum toward solutions 10. Never say "I'm done with this" ↳ "Let's take a break and revisit with clear minds." ↳ Professional pause, not emotional exit 11. Drop "I'm just being honest" ↳ "I want to be direct while keeping this constructive. Here's my perspective..." ↳ Maintains respect while being truthful The truth is, how you handle conflict impacts how leadership sees you: ↳ As a bridge builder or bridge burner ↳ As a problem solver or problem creator ↳ As future leadership material or a liability What’s one workplace phrase you wish people would stop using? ♻️ Repost to help your network to navigate workplace conflict! ➕ Follow Meera Remani for more career transforming insights.
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Stop wasting meetings! Too many meetings leave people unheard, disengaged, or overwhelmed. The best teams know that inclusion isn’t accidental—it’s designed. 🔹 Here are 6 simple but powerful practices to transform your meetings: 💡 Silent Brainstorm Before discussion begins, have participants write down their ideas privately (on sticky notes, a shared document, or an online board). This prevents groupthink, ensures introverted team members have space to contribute, and brings out more original ideas. 💡 Perspective Swap Assign participants a different stakeholder’s viewpoint (e.g., a customer, a frontline employee, or an opposing team). Challenge them to argue from that perspective, helping teams step outside their biases and build empathy-driven solutions. 💡 Pause and Reflect Instead of jumping into responses, introduce intentional pauses in the discussion. Give people 30-60 seconds of silence before answering a question or making a decision. This allows for deeper thinking, more thoughtful contributions, and space for those who need time to process. 💡 Step Up/Step Back Before starting, set an expectation: those who usually talk a lot should "step back," and quieter voices should "step up." You can track participation or invite people directly, helping create a more balanced conversation. 💡 What’s Missing? At the end of the discussion, ask: "Whose perspective have we not considered?" This simple question challenges blind spots, uncovers overlooked insights, and reinforces the importance of diverse viewpoints in decision-making. 💡 Constructive Dissent Voting Instead of just asking for agreement, give participants colored cards or digital indicators to show their stance: 🟢 Green – I fully agree 🟡 Yellow – I have concerns/questions 🔴 Red – I disagree Focus discussion on yellow and red responses, ensuring that dissenting voices are explored rather than silenced. This builds a culture where challenging ideas is seen as valuable, not risky. Which one would you like to try in your next meeting? Let me know in the comments! 🔔 Follow me to learn more about building inclusive, high-performing teams. __________________________ 🌟 Hi there! I’m Susanna, an accredited Fearless Organization Scan Practitioner with 10+ years of experience in workplace inclusion. I help companies build inclusive cultures where diverse, high-performing teams thrive with psychological safety. Let’s unlock your team’s full potential together!
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8 Ways to Disagree Without Fighting (transform conflict into productive chats): Most arguments escalate because of how we communicate. These techniques transform conflicts into productive conversations. 1. "Validation First" ↳ Acknowledge their viewpoint before sharing yours ↳ Creates psychological safety for honest dialogue 2. "The Curiosity Bridge" ↳ Ask genuine questions instead of making statements ↳ Shifts from debate mode to exploration mode 3. "Impact Ownership" ↳ Use "I feel" instead of "You made me feel" ↳ Removes accusatory language that triggers defensiveness 4. "Precision Disagreement" ↳ Challenge specific points, not the entire perspective ↳ Makes disagreement manageable rather than overwhelming 5. "Common Ground Anchoring" ↳ Start with what you both agree on before addressing differences ↳ Establishes a foundation of alignment first 6. "Future Focus" ↳ Frame discussion around solutions, not past mistakes ↳ Directs energy toward resolution rather than blame 7. "Language Softeners" ↳ Use phrases like "I wonder if" instead of "You're wrong" ↳ Reduces defensive reactions while preserving your point 8. "Reflection Pause" ↳ Take a moment of silence before responding to heated comments ↳ Prevents impulsive statements that escalate tension Disagreement doesn't require division. It requires communication skill and emotional intelligence. How do you usually handle disagreements? 🤔 ♻️ Share this to help someone transform their difficult conversations ➕ Follow Helene Guillaume Pabis for more relationship intelligence insights
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I don't class conflict as a "waste" because not all conflict is bad...but unresolved conflict can be VERY wasteful in organizational improvement efforts. As a Lean and Leadership Coach, I have worked with companies to develop systems and skills to reduce harmful conflict, in order to make continuous improvement a reality. People ask me - how do you know there's conflict in the first place? Do we have to assess it in some way? Short answer yes. The problem has to be visible. My own approach is to ask questions that help me understand it through my 1:1 interviews as part of my Discovery phase. Here's what I (and many studies) see as the 5 of the main causes of workplace conflict...and how to resolve them 👇 👉 Communication Conflict: Studies have found that 39% of workplace conflicts arise from communication differences. I coached 'Joan' who told me that she and her direct report ('Jim') only interact when there's a problem. They both want the same results, but they don't spend time together proactively figuring out how to get them. Resolve it through: ✔️ Holding regular 1:1 and team check-ins ✔️ Reviewing communication and information flow as part of process improvement efforts ✔️ Improving meeting management 👉 Values Conflict: Research indicates that 18% of conflicts are due to clashing values. I see it in teams all the time- 'Mark' valued speed and 'Greg' valued precision. It turned into personal conflict as they were both too set on their own values, to try and understand where the other is coming from. Resolve it through: ✔️ Focusing on shared goals and common ground. ✔️ Respecting different viewpoints ✔️ Investing in people and leader development, to develop these skills in everyone. 👉 Resource Conflict: Studies found that 33% of workplace conflicts are due to too much work without enough support or a clash over differing cross- departmental priorities. A simple example- the Sales team rush orders to hit targets but Operations burns out trying to deliver. Resolve it through: ✔️ Being fair and transparent about resources. ✔️ Prioritizing tasks when resources are limited. ✔️ Working together to find creative solutions. 👉 Personality Conflict: One study found that a whopping 49% of workplace conflicts are attributed to clashes between personalities or egos. This comes down to how people behave, how they judge others and their level of EQ. Resolve it through: ✔️ Learning about different work styles. ✔️ Investing in personal development ✔️ Investing in team EQ development and team bonding 👉 Role Conflict: Unclear roles and responsibilities can cause confusion and disputes. Approximately 22% of workplace conflicts is said to stem from unclear roles. Resolve it through: ✔️ Clearly defining roles and responsibilities. ✔️ Reviewing job duties regularly and using them in 1:1's. ✔️ Discussing and fix any role overlaps. How should we be dealing with conflict in our organizations? Leave your thoughts below 🙏
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Put your team in a room and ask them to speak. Freely. Openly. If you can do that consistently & constructively, you have the makings of a strong, enduring culture. Growing up, my family insisted on dinners together, a cacophony of free-flowing conversations & heated discussions on various topics. We were encouraged to share opinions. I have so many memories and lessons from that time. My maternal grandfather rarely visited us. In my memory, he only visited us twice in his whole life. On this particular visit, I might have been about 11. I blurted out during dinner to my Dad that he was being rude & disrespectful to my grandfather. My grandfather tried to hush me and make excuses. My father thought for a while. He didn't rebuke me. After a bit, he explained how we fall into certain patterns, & while he didn't mean to be intentionally disrespectful, he saw my point. Culture is just that: space for someone to speak up, willingness to consider others' points of view, and ability to accept mistakes. One of the best things for any company interested in a unique and sustainable culture is to provide people a safe space to speak up. This is not easy to implement, especially as a company grows rapidly. At Kalaari Capital, our Investment Committee meetings are held every Monday and Tuesday. We might discuss an investment thesis. Or a portfolio status. We may meet a founder & hear their investment pitch. Decisions are debated, & eventually, a consensus is reached. The people in this room have varied levels of experience & seniority. But one thing remains the same: Everyone must speak; it is the expectation. Until everyone is heard, a decision is not made. This culture didn't happen overnight. Early on, we noticed a pattern that's familiar to many teams. When a senior speaks first, the junior ones often default to agreement or remain silent. So, over time, we changed our process. We ask everyone to write down their thoughts; it is collated & projected. Only then is each one called to present their perspective. Often, this brings fresh clarity, unhindered by bias or legacy thinking. We listen before we react. We allow for all POVs to be heard, even the ones you disagree with. Institutionalizing a culture of being heard also means allowing for dissenting opinions. You realize that disagreement isn't personal and that good teams are enriched by it. Because if your culture only allows the loudest or most senior to speak, you’re not building a decision-making engine. You’re building an echo chamber. Through 2 decades of this practice, I have found that when people know their voice is genuinely heard, even if theirs is not the majority opinion, they engage more. And once a decision is made, we align together. A culture cannot be a mandate. It must build better decisions, stronger alignment, and more resilient teams. Share your culture tips, & we can learn from each other. #Culture #Corporate #Leadership #Investment
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As I continue exploring what makes high-performing teams tick, I've covered key topics like group dynamics, trust, cohesiveness, and psychological capital. In this post, I want to dive deeper into a crucial aspect of team dynamics: conflict. Conflict is inevitable in any team, even in high-performing ones. However, the difference lies in how these teams handle it. They don't shy away from conflict; instead, they have established rules of engagement and cultural practices for navigating it effectively. They embrace conflict, using it as a tool for growth and innovation—often with the support of a skilled facilitator. Here are some common types of conflict that can arise in the workplace: Conflict in Vision: Example: Disagreement over the company's long-term direction. Impact: Misaligned vision can fragment efforts and lower morale. Resolution: Facilitate discussions to align on a shared vision and involve all stakeholders in the vision-setting process. Conflict in Goals: Example: Differing objectives between departments. Impact: Can create competition rather than collaboration, leading to inefficiencies. Resolution: Establish clear, unified goals and ensure they are communicated across the organization. Conflict in Communication Styles: Example: Misinterpretations due to different communication preferences. Impact: Misunderstandings can escalate into larger conflicts. Resolution: Promote awareness of diverse communication styles and encourage adaptive communication techniques. Conflict in Values: Example: Clashes over ethical decisions or cultural values. Impact: Can lead to deep-seated animosity and ethical dilemmas. Resolution: Create a values-based culture and ensure organizational policies reflect shared values. Conflict in Resource Allocation: Example: Competing demands for limited resources. Impact: Can result in feelings of unfairness and hinder project progress. Resolution: Implement transparent and fair resource allocation processes. Conflict in Roles and Responsibilities: Example: Overlapping or unclear job roles. Impact: Can cause confusion, redundancy, or gaps in task completion. Resolution: Clearly define roles and responsibilities, and regularly review them to avoid overlap. Conflict in Work Styles: Example: Differing approaches to completing tasks or managing time. Impact: Can cause friction and reduce team cohesion. Resolution: Encourage flexibility and understanding of diverse work styles, and find common ground. Conflict in Power Dynamics: Example: Power struggles between employees or teams. Impact: Can lead to a toxic work environment and hinder collaboration. Resolution: Foster a culture of mutual respect and equitable power distribution. What other types of conflict have you encountered in teams? How did you resolve them? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments! #teambuilding #communicationskills #peopleskills