Addressing Negative Feedback During Project Reviews

Advice to not take negative feedback personally is terrible. It's also ignores how the human brain works. Negative feedback immediately makes our brains feel unsafe. And as human beings, the feeling of not being safe cuts to the core -- it threatens our survival. It doesn't matter if the fear is about being rejected, not being liked, or a pack of wolves running at us. To our brain it's all the same: physical and emotional. So I find advice to not take negative feedback personally ignorant. It literally ignores how our brains and biology work. Instead, recognize that when you give negative feedback, the person will immediately feel unsafe (even if they can't name it). So if you want the feedback to be constructive, you need to help the person feel safe so they can take it in rationally. I imagine this was the idea behind the "feedback sandwich": Deliver positive feedback, follow with negative, then more positive. But the brain's negativity bias will always prioritize the negative. Which is why this sandwich does not work. What can you do? The most important thing you can do is to be incredibly specific with the negative feedback. - Have examples. I cannot say this enough: have specific examples. Identify and speak to specific actions the person took that you think they could have handled better. - Avoid any general comments that are easy for the brain to generalize into a general "threat". - If you have specific suggestions for how to improve, share them. At the end of giving this negative feedback, make it clear that you are open to discussing it and welcome any questions -- but that it doesn't have to happen right this minute. Getting tough feedback activates the emotional brain center. It's very hard to shift into the rational, thinking mode right on the spot. Be open to discussing the feedback (gives the person a sense of agency and control) and be open to not doing it right in that moment. Negative feedback can be constructive and helpful. But it is always person. It always feels like a threat to the brain. And it's always difficult to receive. As someone giving this feedback, you have an opportunity to help the person receiving it it process it constructively. But you can't expect immediate grace and rational, thoughtful reaction on the spot.

If feedback feels like a threat, you’re missing its potential👇: 1️⃣ Start with Empathy ↳ Acknowledge their efforts before diving into the feedback. 2️⃣ Be Clear and Specific ↳ Use concrete examples like, “In yesterday’s meeting, I noticed...” 3️⃣ Focus on the Behavior, Not the Person ↳ Say, “This behavior affected the project” instead of “You always mess this up.” 4️⃣ Use the “What” and “How” Formula ↳ Frame it like, “When X happened, it caused Y, so let’s address it this way.” 5️⃣ Offer Solutions, Not Just Criticism ↳ Collaborate on solutions by asking, “What do you think would work better next time?” 6️⃣ Check for Understanding ↳ Say, “Does that make sense? How do you see it?” 7️⃣ Follow Up to Support Growth ↳ Schedule a quick follow-up meeting to check on progress and offer further guidance. 📌 PS...Done right, difficult feedback can build trust and foster growth. ♻️ Share this with your network to help them deliver feedback with confidence and care! 🚀 Want more actionable insights? Join 5,000+ leaders reading my newsletter for weekly tips on leadership, performance, and culture. No vague recommendations. All backed by science and experience. ➡️ Join free here: https://lnkd.in/gJr6dcPJ

Letting personal assumptions about someone's engagement or motivation creep in to your delivery when giving negative feedback is a great way to make sure the person on the receiving side gets defensive. So... let's stop doing that. Try this method to stick to the facts: 👉🏻 Describe the situation. Start with clarity about the circumstances. 👉🏻 Describe the behavior. Keep it simple, descriptive, and free from assumption about the "why" - just stick to the specifics of what you saw. 👉🏻 Describe the impact. How did the behavior impact you? Others on the team? The goals the organization is striving for, or the culture of the team? This approach can help turn your feedback from a personal judgement ("you were rude, that wasn't ok") to a factual statement that ties the behavior to an impact ("you repeatedly interrupt your teammates and they now feel uncomfortable speaking up in group meetings"). But there's still one more step to make this a really effective conversation: 👉🏻 Describe the change you want to see. Once your employee understands what ISN'T working, be specific about what behaviors might be better - and be clear about how you'll support them in making those changes. (Like this: "Our team goal is inclusive, constructive discussions. Can you commit to holding your questions until the designated time in future meetings?") What other tips might help you to deliver - or accept - negative feedback? ✌🏻