Building Emotional Connections

I showed up at my ex-manager's house with donuts one random evening. He left what he was doing, came outside and we talked for 2 hours. A few months later, my wife and I were visiting Rome, Italy and I thought of this same manager again. I remembered that he was Italian and I jokingly said to my wife: "Wouldn't it be funny if we ran into my ex-boss in Italy?" 10 minutes later we ran into him and his family on a side street in ROME! It was one of the most miraculous things I've ever experienced. People talk about "networking" like a to-do list but it's not. If you want to have a great network of people all you need to do is this: 1. Reach out to people just because they crossed your mind. Send an email, Facetime them, send a text or drop off some donuts. They might not respond but they will always remember. 2. Give back once a month Find someone who's one or two steps behind where you are and just have a conversation with them. Help them move a little faster by sharing your wisdom. 3. Connect 2 people in your network to each other once a quarter If you think of two people who might get along or help each other, just make the introduction. Both parties will appreciate you making the connection. Relationships are what make life so worth living.

Facilitation hack. Prepare them for the post-workshop shock. Workshops are amazing universes where magical things happen that ideally leave everyone with the feeling of having been part of a transformative experience. Even less intense workshops often create a feeling of belonging. They typically, if facilitated well, also create a feeling of energy and motivation to get going with the ideas and transformation to address burning issues. However, what follows is similar to a reverse culture shock phenomenon. The participants return to their working environment of origin, where they meet colleagues who have not spent their time in a parallel universe but continue living in a problem-ridden daily. Furthermore, they might also envy the experience, especially when the "enlightened reformers" bragged about the workshop, causing subtle and often unconscious behaviors to dismiss the new ideas. In short, participants face resistance, and their excitement is quickly killed by the everyday blues, often as soon as the following working day. As a consequence, the intervention becomes irrelevant for the most part. I have heard this story so often that I have decided to make it an integral part of my workshops to prepare the participants for the post-workshop shock. I make space to raise their awareness that this is likely to happen and have them share their worries and ideas for how to work around it. This doesn't necessarily solve the issue, but it helps prepare them for what they might experience. It also makes them realize that it is their responsibility to carefully translate their insights, experience, and energy onto others and gives them a chance to exchange ways for they can do that as a group and individuals. Since I did that, my standard check-ins a few weeks, months later, are significantly more positive and often show that the workshop bore some fruits in the rest of the company and organization. So, remember, as wonderful as a workshop can be, it is a parallel universe to the participants' every day. Our task is to help them prepare for a potential shock when they re-enter the real world, thereby increasing the chances of successful transfer of insights and ideas. #facilitationhack #facilitation #facilitationskills #humandynamics

I worked 20-hour shifts during my residency. Forget time for family and friends, I often didn’t even have time to shower or eat. So when most of my patients talk about stress taking a toll on their health, I understand. But what we often ignore is that stress acts as your body's alert system for perceived threats. It leads you straight into survival mode - causing lack of sleep, anxiety, and countless health problems. So here are 4 simple solutions to reclaim control: ▶︎ 1. The physiological sigh: This is one of the fastest ways to calm down. - 1 deep inhale through the nose - 1 short inhale to top up - 1 long exhale to empty lungs Just 2-3 cycles of this technique will release the maximum amount of CO2, slow your heart rate and relax you. ▶︎ 2. Mel Robin’s 5-second rule: To break the cycle of anxiety and change your stress habits, simply count down from 5. 5-4-3-2-1. This exercise will: - Activate your prefrontal cortex - Interrupt your habitual thought loops - Shift your brain from fight-or-flight to action mode ▶︎ 3. The filters test: If you want to reduce stress, you need to curate your thoughts. Whenever you have a negative thought, answer these 3 questions: - Is it true? - Is it kind? - Is it helpful? If any of the answer is no, discard the chain of thought immediately. ▶︎ 4. Conquer your fear of judgment: Caring what people think is costing you your health. Choosing attachment (fitting in) over authenticity (being yourself) sets you up for long-term health issues. So forget about others' opinions. Remember, being healthy > seeking approval. These techniques actually work as our brains tend to: - Ignore the high costs of our inaction - Understate the positive results of taking action - Exaggerate negative consequences of taking action. How do you manage your stress? #healthandwellness #workplacehealth #stress

When Group Chats Go Wrong: 5 Key Learning Lessons Last week's headline-making leak of internal communications from the Whitehouse highlights a common digital workplace risk: the wrong eyes seeing the wrong messages. 𝗗𝗶𝗴𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘀 𝗢𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗮 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻: 🚩 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀: Whether through technical error or human mistake, sensitive information reaches unintended recipients. 🚩 𝗨𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁: Candid opinions and sensitive information, never meant for wider audiences, suddenly become exposed. 🚩 𝗗𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹: Rushed attempts to contain the situation often create additional awkwardness and scrutiny. 𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗘𝘁𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲: 𝟱 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀 ✅ 𝗔𝘂𝗱𝗶𝘁 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗥𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆: Schedule monthly reviews of all group chats to remove individuals who no longer need access. ✅ 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗖𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗡𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀: Label chats precisely (e.g., "Q1 Budget Planning - Confidential") to reduce confusion and mistaken additions. ✅ 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺-𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗚𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀: Designate specific tools for different sensitivity levels—Slack for general communication, encrypted platforms for confidential discussions. ✅ 𝗘𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗮 𝗩𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽: Before sharing sensitive information, verify all participants with a quick "confirming everyone here should be part of this conversation." ✅ 𝗗𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽 𝗮 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗼𝗰𝗼𝗹: Create standard language for gracefully addressing accidental inclusions without additional awkwardness. Coaching can help; let's chat. Follow Joshua Miller 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲? 📬 Subscribe To My NEW LinkedIn Newsletter: “𝗧𝗟;𝗗𝗥 𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗰𝘂𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝟮-𝗠𝗶𝗻 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗽𝘀”  ↳ https://rb.gy/i1o47z #Communication #RemoteWork #WorkplaceSecurity #GetAhead #CareerAdvice #ExecutiveCoahcing #CoachingTips #Job

I just learned something fascinating about why some conversations leave us feeling connected, while others... not so much. Here's the thing: Every conversation actually contains 3 different conversations happening at once: 1. Practical (The "what's happening" conversation) 2. Emotional (The "how we feel" conversation) 3. Social (The "who we are" conversation) And here's where it gets interesting... When two people are having different types of conversations simultaneously, they're essentially speaking different languages. I learned this the hard way: When my wife comes home stressed, and she shares her feelings. I'd offer practical solutions. We were both right - just having different conversations. The game-changer?  Scientists call it "the matching principle." The key to connection is recognizing & matching the type of conversation someone wants to have. Want to try this yourself? Here's how: Instead of surface questions like: "Where do you work?" Ask deeper ones like: "What do you love about your job?" A powerful example: A cancer surgeon in NYC transformed his practice by asking one simple question: "What does this diagnosis mean to you?" Instead of giving immediate medical advice, he learned to match his patients' emotional needs first. The result? Better connections. Better outcomes. Better care. Here's your challenge: In your next conversation, try asking a deeper question. Watch what happens. You might just create one of the most meaningful connections of your week. Because at the end of the day, We're not just exchanging information. We're sharing pieces of ourselves. Would love to hear your experiences if you try this!  Drop your thoughts below. 👇 #CommunicationSkills #PersonalGrowth #Leadership #Connection #charlesduhigg

Conflict is inevitable. How we manage it is both an art and a science. In my work with executives, I often discuss Thomas Kilmann's five types of conflict managers: (1) The Competitor – Focuses on winning, sometimes forgetting there’s another human on the other side. (2) The Avoider – Pretends conflict doesn’t exist, hoping it disappears (spoiler: it doesn’t). (3) The Compromiser – Splits the difference, often leaving both sides feeling like nobody really wins. (4) The Accommodator – Prioritizes relationships over their own needs, sometimes at their own expense. (5) The Collaborator – Works hard to find a win-win, but it takes effort. The style we use during conflict depends on how we manage the tension between empathy and assertiveness. (a) Assertiveness: The ability to express your needs, boundaries, and interests clearly and confidently. It’s standing your ground—without steamrolling others. Competitors do this naturally, sometimes too much. Avoiders and accommodators? Not so much. (b) Empathy: The ability to recognize and consider the other person’s perspective, emotions, and needs. It’s stepping into their shoes before taking a step forward. Accommodators thrive here, sometimes at their own expense. Competitors? They might need a reminder that the other side has feelings too. Balancing both is the key to successful negotiation. Here’s how: - Know your default mode. Are you more likely to fight, flee, or fold? Self-awareness is step one. - Swap 'but' for 'and' – “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to explore a solution that works for both of us.” This keeps both voices in the conversation. - Be clear, not combative. Assertiveness isn’t aggression; it’s clarity. Replace “You’re wrong” with “I see it differently—here’s why.” - Make space for emotions. Negotiations aren’t just about logic. Acknowledge emotions (yours and theirs) so they don’t hijack the conversation. - Negotiate the process, not just the outcome. If you’re dealing with a competitor, set ground rules upfront. If it’s an avoider, create a low-stakes way to engage. Great negotiators don’t just stick to their natural style—they adapt. Which conflict style do you tend to default to? And how do you balance empathy with assertiveness? #ConflictResolution #Negotiation #Leadership #Empathy #Assertiveness #Leadership #DecisionMaking

In the last 9 years of training and facilitating professional groups, I’ve learnt that delivering a workshop is not just about sharing knowledge — it’s about orchestrating an experience for the participants which open up avenues for them to draw insights for themselves. Each moment calls for a different hat, and knowing which hat to wear and when is what transforms a session from good to great. I swiftly change my hats when in a workshop, these are some of the roles that I take up often- The Storyteller — When concepts feel abstract, stories bring them to life. A personal anecdote, a metaphor, or a well-timed parable can make ideas unforgettable. Stories ignite emotions, and emotions drive transformation. The Subject Matter Expert (SME) — There are moments when authority is essential. As the SME, I distill complex ideas into simple, relatable insights. Here, precision, clarity, and confidence reign supreme. The Energizer — Energy dips are inevitable, but as the energizer, I inject the room with enthusiasm. It might be an icebreaker, a playful activity, or simply a shift in tone. Momentum matters. The Actor (Theatre in Training) — Embodying a persona makes the experience visceral for participants, encouraging them to confront and solve real-world challenges. The Coach — Not every insight can be taught; some must be discovered. Here, I shift to a coach’s hat — listening deeply, asking probing questions, and letting participants arrive at their own 'aha' moments. This is where ownership of learning happens. The Mindfulness Guide — In moments of overwhelm or tension, I pause and guide participants to reconnect with presence and calm. Silence, breathing exercises, or reflection time are more powerful than many realize. The Detective — Every group is different. I watch for non-verbal cues, unspoken tensions, and subtle resistance. Identifying these dynamics early allows me to tailor the approach on the fly. The Facilitator of Dialogue — No trainer is the sage on the stage, it is essential to harness the group's wisdom. The Challenger — Growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones. As the challenger, I nudge participants to step beyond their limits, question assumptions and see new perspectives. The Motivator — At the end of the day, every participant needs to leave inspired. I remind them of their potential, highlight their wins, and leave them with a sense of possibility. Each of these roles is a hat I wear with intention, but to serve the participants' growth. Essence is not in wearing every hat at once; it’s about knowing which one to wear at the right time. #CorporateTraining #MasterFacilitator #Storytelling #LeadershipDevelopment #LearningAndDevelopment #Coaching #FacilitationSkills #HumanToHuman #facilitation #workshop #session #softskills #BehaviouralTraining #Training Women's Web LinkedIn for Learning

Navigating Team Conflicts In team dynamics, some level of conflict is inevitable—even healthy. However, understanding the nature of the conflict can help leaders manage and resolve it more effectively. Here are four common conflict patterns and strategies for handling them: 1. The Solo Dissenter This conflict arises when one individual disagrees with the rest of the team. Whether due to personal differences or a challenge to the status quo, isolating or scapegoating this person is counterproductive. Instead, leaders should engage in one-on-one conversations to better understand their perspective and address any underlying concerns. Open communication can transform a dissenter into a valuable source of alternative viewpoints and broader system awareness. 2. The Boxing Match This frequent form of conflict involves a disagreement between two team members. If the issue stems from a personal relationship, external coaching may be helpful. However, if it’s task-related, the disagreement may benefit the team by introducing diverse ideas—provided the discussion remains civil. Leaders should avoid intervening prematurely, as genuine task-based disagreements often lead to more innovative solutions. 3. Warring Factions When two subgroups within the team oppose each other, an "us versus them" mentality can develop. This type of conflict is more complex, and solutions like voting or majority rule rarely resolve the issue. Leaders should introduce new options or third-way alternatives, encouraging both sides to broaden their thinking and find a compromise that addresses the core needs of both groups. 4. The Blame Game This challenging conflict involves the entire team, often triggered by poor performance. Assigning blame worsens the situation and creates more division. A more effective approach is to refocus the team on collective goals and explore strategies for improvement. Shifting the conversation from blame to team purpose and collective problem-solving can unite the group around a shared vision. By recognizing these conflict patterns and applying the right strategies, leaders can guide their teams through disagreements, fostering a more cohesive and productive environment.

Lately, I’ve been training myself to intentionally listen to people— to deeply engage and listen. Guess what... It starts with deep concentration. Removing distractions— both external (all the noise around you) and internal (those overpowering thoughts that try to hold onto your opinion). That internal noise can almost drown out the words of the person you're talking to. Deep concentration is the foundation. Empathy is the second—putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their perspective. I remind myself, whenever my mind drifts: "LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN." "Kunle, listen to her..." Here’s what else has helped me: → Be fully present. Not just hearing words, but giving your full attention. → Reflect and clarify. Ask questions or paraphrase to ensure understanding. → Hold back judgment. Don’t rush to offer your opinion or solutions. → Give non-verbal feedback. A nod or "I see" signals you’re there. The more I practice this, the better the connections I make. Active listening isn’t just about words. It’s about understanding. ↳ Deep concentration. ↳ Empathy. ↳ Patience. === 📩 Subscribe to the Conscious Commerce newsletter for more insights on: commerce + wellness + leadership ↳ Delivered every Tuesday → subscribe.2xecommerce.com

Paralanguage refers to the non-verbal elements of communication used to convey emotion and modify meaning. These elements include aspects of the voice such as pitch, tone, volume, speed, and intonation, as well as other vocal qualities like laughter, sighs, and pauses. Paralanguage provides context and emotional nuance to the spoken words, influencing how the message is perceived by others. Key Components of Paralanguage: Pitch: The highness or lowness of the speaker's voice. Tone: The quality or character of the voice. Volume: The loudness or softness of the speaker's voice. Rate: The speed at which someone speaks. Intonation: The variation in pitch while speaking, which can indicate questions, statements, emotions, etc. Pauses: Moments of silence that can add emphasis or indicate hesitation. Voice Quality: Attributes like nasality, breathiness, or tenseness. Non-verbal Sounds: Laughter, sighs, grunts, etc., that convey emotion or reaction. Functions of Paralanguage: Emotional Expression: Conveying feelings such as happiness, anger, or sadness. Emphasis: Highlighting important points or words in a message. Regulation: Helping manage the flow of conversation, indicating when someone has finished speaking or when someone else can start. Feedback: Providing cues about understanding, agreement, or disagreement. Context: Giving additional context to the spoken words, which can alter the meaning. For example, saying "I'm fine" with a flat tone might indicate indifference, while saying the same words with a bright, cheerful tone conveys genuine positivity. Understanding and effectively using paralanguage can significantly enhance communication by adding clarity and emotional depth to verbal messages. #communicationskills Dr.Shivani Sharma