Techniques for Self-Regulation

Be nice to yourself. Your internal dialogue speaks before you do, shaping confidence, performance, and resilience. Ignore it and it will amplify stress. Train it and it becomes your personal coach. Why it matters: - Distanced self-talk (using your own name or “you”) quiets the emotional centers of the brain and boosts self-control. - Self-affirmations light up the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, making your brain more receptive to change and healthier. - Self-compassion correlates with lower anxiety, greater resilience, and steadier motivation than high self-esteem alone. - A recent meta-analysis shows performance gains across 30+ sports studies when athletes practiced structured self-talk. Make your self-talk kinder (and more useful) 1. Name-swap: When stress spikes, switch “I can’t handle this deadline” to “Shira, you’ve met tighter ones.” Third-person language creates distance and calms reactivity. 2. Values check: Write a 2-minute note on a core value before hard tasks. This simple affirmation primes the brain for openness and action. 3. Self-compassion break: Pause, note the struggle, remind yourself that imperfection is human, then ask “What would I say to a friend?” Answer it—out loud if possible. 3. Replace should with could: “I should post on LinkedIn daily” carries judgment. “I could post” invites choice and curiosity, easing resistance. 4. Cue cards: Draft two or three empowering phrases and place them where you work. Repetition wires the language in before pressure hits. Speak to yourself as you would to a promising colleague. Your inner voice will start working for you, not against you.

The toughest meeting you’ll ever attend…. is with your own mind. Ask yourself, if your mind were to be your most critical direct report - how well would it be performing today? In the workplace, do you experience? That “urgent” email makes your heart race before lunch. You snap at a teammate over something tiny and regret it for hours. You binge-scroll LinkedIn during focus time… while telling yourself you’re “strategizing.” Neuroscience says: your prefrontal cortex (decision-making brain) is like a muscle. Stress, lack of sleep, and distraction weaken it. So yes - your self-management literally depends on how you feed your brain, rest it, and flex it. Ancient Indian wisdom from The Bhagavad Gita (6.5) says: उद्धरेदात्मनात्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत् । आत्मैव ह्यात्मनो बन्धुरात्मैव रिपुरात्मन: ॥ ५ ॥ 𝘶𝘥𝘥𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘮 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘷𝘢𝘴𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘷𝘢 𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘩𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘷𝘢 𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘩 “𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗲, 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗯𝘆 𝗼𝗻𝗲’𝘀 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱.” Translation for 2025 workplaces? You are your first responsibility. Before delegating, reporting, or leading - make sure you’re leading yourself. Self-regulation isn’t a soft skill; it’s the foundation of resilience, clarity, and ethical decision-making. Practical takeaways: 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴: Even 3 deep breaths can reset the amygdala. 𝗟𝗮𝗯𝗲𝗹, 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗲: “I’m frustrated” ≠ “This project is doomed.” 𝗘𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲: Protect your focus blocks like a sacred asset. 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆: 10 minutes of journaling can sharpen the “muscle” that guides all other actions. Your mind is your most powerful asset. Tame your mind or it'll run you ragged in every meeting, email and decision. #selfregulation #resilience #leadingself #sanjivani

Ever felt unwieldy, nervous or anxious? Dark clouds hanging over your head? I know I have. 😫 Days I had anxiety and panic attacks prior to new trainings. 😣 Moments when I was criticized. 😓 Situations where I felt I had failed. Each of these amplified rousing negative feelings. Fortunately, I've gone through much of these and curated a list of ways I used to cope with them. See if these strategies (simply put) can open the doors to help you master your mind better! 1. Reframing (NLP) NLP uses the technique of reframing to change how a person perceives an event or situation, thereby changing its meaning and impact. Anxious = high energy; fear of being an imposter on stage = allocate preparation time. 2. Anchoring (NLP) Anchoring involves creating a stimulus-response pattern where a person can elicit a desired emotional state (e.g., calmness, confidence) by triggering a sensory anchor (such as touching a finger and thumb together). I have anchors for peace, confidence, compassion and excitement. 3. Swish Pattern (NLP) This technique involves creating neurological associations between a trigger and a desired behavior. Visualize the negative scenario and then send it away rapidly, replacing it with a positive image or set of actions, clear the mind, then repeat this until the trigger leads to evidence of acting on the desired behavior. 4. Mindfulness (Positive Psychology) Practices such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce the anxiety. 5. Self-Talk (Sport Psychology) Inner conversations that are negative are often a result of not preparing your own internal script. Decide what is resourceful to say to yourself with (a) motivational phrases (under conditions of self belief) or (b) procedural instructions (under conditions of a sense of threat). 6. Challenging Irrational Thoughts Once negative thoughts are identified and evaluated, the next step is to challenge and dispute these irrational beliefs. Ask questions like, "What is the evidence for this thought?", "What could I tell a friend if they had this thought?", and "Is there a more balanced way of looking at this situation?" Hope these help you see that there are possibilities out there to support you in handling the inner world during difficult situations. Remember that what you are feeling is just a product of your brain, history and meanings. You can certainly find ways out of them using some of these simple tools for growth and mastery. Do you have any questions or experiences about of these approaches? Do share them in comments! 😊

Overthinking isn’t intelligence. It’s your mind spinning in circles. Pushing myself to think more never brought clarity. Instead, it drained my energy and confidence. Stanford researchers found that constant overthinking weakens professional influence and clouds judgment. Here’s the brutal truth most miss: We CAN'T "think" our way out of overthinking. Here are 7 uncommon strategies that actually help: 1. The Catch & Postpone Method ➟ Name the worrying thought clearly ➟ Schedule 20 minutes later to worry on paper 💡 Your brain learns worry can be controlled, not chaos 2. The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Practice ➟ Notice 5 things you see, 4 you touch, 3 sounds, 2 smells, 1 taste ➟ Use when overthinking starts 💡 Sensory awareness breaks mental loops naturally 3. Switch to Action Focus ➟ Replace "Why did I fail?" with "What's one small step forward?" ➟ Choose answers leading to immediate action 💡 Small, specific steps reduce anxiety naturally 4. Break the Catastrophe Loop ➟ Say "I'm imagining worst cases" then remind yourself you can cope ➟ Remember: setbacks are chances to learn 💡 Acknowledging fears prevents emotional hijacking 5. The Spotlight Shift ➟ Move attention outward when self-critical ➟ Focus genuinely on others' stories 💡 Looking outward dissolves internal criticism 6. The 90% Perfect Rule ➟ Plan for imperfection from the start ➟ Accept that mistakes are normal 💡 Building in flexibility reduces self-judgment 7. Mental Channel Change ➟ Visualize switching from worry to encouraging thoughts ➟ Practice moving to grateful memories 💡 Regular mental shifts build focus flexibility Here's the freeing realization I had: We aren't trapped in thought loops. Mental shifts compound quickly into clarity and calm. Pick just one technique today. Your mind (and your career) will thank you tomorrow. Which technique speaks to you? ♻️ Repost if this resonated with you! 🔖 Follow me Suren Samarchyan for more.

EFFECTIVELY NAVIGATING UNEXPECTED SITUATIONS DISTINGUISHES A MASTER FROM AN AMATEUR. I’m a zen person who’s deeply studied mindfulness, meditation, & philosophy. Which comes in handy as a single mother of 3 & a high performance coach whose high profile clients often get themselves into quite perplexing situations then rely on me to get them out. But last week, I got a phone call that came completely out of left field & spun me a bit at first. Fortunately, I had the high performance strategies to get grounded & process it without allowing it to have a negative impact on my productivity or peace. And it made me want to share these strategies with you, because… Life is full of surprises that can throw you off track. But with the right strategies, you can turn these surprises into opportunities for growth & success. Here are my game changing strategies to help you handle the unexpected with confidence: 🔹 COGNITIVE REAPPRAISAL: Reframe challenges as growth opportunities. Shift your perspective & reduce stress by viewing the unexpected as a chance to improve & evolve. 🔹 MINDFULNESS: Stay grounded & focused. Use techniques like deep breathing & meditation to stay calm no matter what. 🔹 EMOTIONAL REGULATION TECHNIQUES: Manage emotional responses with techniques including deep breathing & progressive muscle relaxation to calm your nervous system & help you think clearly. 🔹 FOCUS ON PROBLEM-SOLVING: Take the emotion out of it. Identify the problem, generate solutions, evaluate options, & implement the best one. 🔹 RESILIENCE BUILDING: Cultivate resilience through self-care, strong connections, & positive thinking. 🔹 PREPARATION & FLEXIBILITY: Prepare for various scenarios, have contingency plans, & stay adaptable. 🔹 GROWTH MINDSET: A growth mindset encourages learning from challenges rather than feeling defeated by them. 🔹 SOCIAL SUPPORT: Use your support network for comfort & advice. Discuss unexpected situations with trusted coaches & colleagues to gain fresh perspectives. 🔹 STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES: Regularly practice stress management through exercise, sleep, & hobbies to maintain well-being. 🔹 POSITIVE SELF-TALK: Replace negativity with affirmations like “I believe in my ability to figure things out” & “I’ve got this” to stay focused on solutions. Integrating these high performance strategies will supercharge your ability to thrive in unexpected situations. And provide you with an incredible opportunity to level up. EFFECTIVELY NAVIGATING UNEXPECTED SITUATIONS DISTINGUISHES A MASTER FROM AN AMATEUR. The question is… ~Which one are you? #motivation #highperformance #success  READY TO MASTER YOUR LIFE? Let’s Talk. DM Me Today for More. 

**The Day Robert Almost Sent That Email: A Lesson in Emotional Self-Regulation** My friend Robert recently shared a story that's too valuable not to pass along. Robert, a typically composed senior project manager, found himself in a situation we can all relate to.  There he was, 30 minutes before a major client presentation, when his colleague David casually mentioned he'd "made a few small tweaks" to their deck.  Those "small tweaks" included removing six key slides that addressed the client's main concerns and replacing them with stock photos of people in suits fist-bumping. Robert felt that familiar heat rising in his chest. His eye started twitching.  The old Robert would have launched into an epic meltdown that would have made reality TV producers reach for their contracts. Instead, he took a deep breath.  Then another.  Then excused himself to what he now refers to as his "rage closet" (actually the supply room) for exactly 47 seconds. As Viktor Frankl wisely observed, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." That space—between David's presentation sabotage and Robert's response—made all the difference. When he returned, Robert calmly asked David to walk him through his reasoning.  Turns out, David had misunderstood the client's needs based on a separate conversation.  They had just enough time to create a compromise that actually improved their original approach. The presentation was a success.  Robert and David didn't end up on the local news.  No laptops were harmed in the making of this story. Victory on all fronts. This wasn't always Robert's approach.  Five years ago, he lost a major account after snapping at a client who questioned their strategy during a high-stress implementation.  That expensive lesson taught him that emotional self-regulation isn't just about being "professional"—it's a critical business skill. Robert's journey to better emotional regulation included some amusing missteps: -The time he tried using a stress ball during a tense budget meeting and squeezed it so hard it exploded 🤦♂️ -His brief experiment with "calming essential oils" that resulted in an office evacuation when someone reported a "suspicious smell" -The "count to ten" technique that sometimes turned into counting to several thousand What finally worked? A simple three-step practice Robert now swears by: -Recognize the physical signals before emotional hijacking (for him: tight chest, clenched jaw) -Create distance—physically or mentally—before responding -Ask himself: "Will this matter in a month? A year?" In leadership and life, our effectiveness often comes down not to our initial emotional response, but to what we do with that response. Have you had your own "almost sent that email" moment? How do you maintain emotional control when it matters most? #GennadiyVaksman Video credits to the respective owner. DM for credit.

Every time you think “l need advice"... You likely don’t need advice. You need an inner compass. Learning how to understand how to find, listen and embrace this is one part of what I help teach my clients.  
 Here’s how it works: 🔸Step 1: Nervous system regulation- self-soothing & emotional processing Usually, when you feel like you need help or advice, you’re triggered and what you really need is to go within. Some perceived threat has activated the nervous system (which could be as simple as “they said no to something” or “ we had a conflict” or “I’ didn’t feel seen, heard when_________). When the nervous system is activated, our only job is to deactivate it. Enter self-soothing and emotional processing. If you’re not familiar with these tools, they can look like many things; exercise, taking a walk, calling a friend, meditation, taking a time out, watching a movie, the list is endless. The goal is to bring your nervous system down considerably before doing anything else. 🔸Step 2: Identify your needs (and meet them) Are you in touch with your own needs in the moment? A need is not something specific that you can only get from one other person. Needs are universal- for example, “love, connection, rest” Once you have identified your needs in the moment, see if you can meet them in some way. Instead of just defaulting to your partner to meet them, can you feel love from another source- a friend, an act of self-love/self-care? 🔸Step 3: Communicate nonviolently From a grounded place, and from a place of having done the work to meet some of your own needs, you can approach your partner and make a request from them. “I’m really needing some love right now, can you help to meet that need for me?” Note- the success of this request is almost directly related to how much you have brought down your own nervous system and met your own needs. Do not skip steps one and two! 🔸Step 4: Take an empowered action When you make a request from a grounded place, you can’t control what the other person does or doesn’t do, but you can choose your own destiny based on the information you receive. Then you can take an empowered action

In leadership, you're remembered for your response. Because emotional regulation beats intelligence in high-pressure environments. I once watched a respected executive throw a chair in a fit of rage. 15 years later, that’s still what people remember (and talk about). Not his results. Just that one moment of emotional irregularity. From that day on, psychological safety was destroyed. Because when tension runs high, people remember how you made them feel. So, if you’ve ever: → Hit send on an angry email → Snapped at your team or colleagues → Let frustration leak into your tone with a client Then you know: The second you lose control, you’ve lost impact. And without impact, you've lost influence. The good news? Emotional regulation is a muscle anyone can train. Here’s how to stay in control: 1️⃣ Know your triggers – What sets you off? – Awareness creates choice. 2️⃣ Pause before reacting – Ask: “Will I regret this response?” 3️⃣ Reframe the situation – What’s the most constructive interpretation? 4️⃣ Delay your emails – A 10-minute buffer can save your reputation. 5️⃣ Breathe before you speak – It resets your nervous system. 6️⃣ Lead with EQ – Respond with intention, not impulse. Stress and pressure impact our behavior. But every time you choose restraint, you keep your power. And then you are remembered for the right reasons. Do you think emotional regulation can be learned?

At every age and grade level, students experience moments of emotional dysregulation throughout the day. These moments can disrupt their ability to focus on classwork and contribute to an overall sense of tension in the classroom. By identifying simple, personalized tools—or “anchors”—for grounding themselves and being encouraged to connect with these anchors regularly, students can learn to self-regulate more effectively. ⚓ Anchors can be as simple as taking a stretch, enjoying a peppermint, or thinking about a trusted adult. These small yet meaningful strategies help students develop emotional stability and resilience, paving the way for smoother experiences both in and out of the classroom. I shared this approach in my Edutopia - George Lucas Educational Foundation article, "A Daily Practice That Students Can Use for Self-Regulation," and I have witnessed firsthand how empowering students with tools like these can transform not only their learning environments but also their personal growth ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ . https://lnkd.in/gRYEiNAc

One of my favorite self-regulating questions when emotions are high: “Is this going to get me the outcome I want?" I used this as a tool in my corporate years when I was struggling with internal conflict that eventually led to me leaving that career. I was experiencing burnout and much more (if only I had the inner work under my belt then that I do now!), and this became a potent, in-the-moment centering tool. I remember a specific incident that had me hitting a high level of frustration around office politics. I'm sure many of you can relate. And it happened a few minutes before an important meeting. Although no one would've known that frustration was going on, I could feel it (I was a champion when it came to hiding emotion and compartmentalizing, as I'm sure many of you can also relate to). I wasn't able to fully recenter before the meeting, so instead, I let this question be the lens and North Star for how I showed up. When I could feel my frustration trying to take the lead, I would ask myself if this input, this reaction, or this body language, was going to help get me the outcome I wanted in that meeting. And if the answer was no, I asked myself what was and let that lead. We are human. When we are living in fast-paced or high-stress environments, it doesn't always feel possible to fully recenter and ground ourselves at all times. And that's OK. When that happens, we can support ourselves by making that re-centering action or step smaller and more specific based on the current need. Whether it's at work or at home, choose a question like this to use as your short-term North Star to help you show up in a supportive way during challenging times, vs. the way your emotion is pushing you to. #support #conflict #tools _________ Hi, I’m Ashley. I help high performers navigate challenges and create growth at work, at home, and within. Follow and tap 🔔 for more #personaldevelopment, #awareness, #mindset, and #coaching content.