Vulnerability as a strength for women in tech

I once hired someone who cried in an interview. And I almost didn’t. I was building a new team in a high-pressure role, and I needed a right hand—someone who could keep the trains running, connect the dots across my creative team, and handle all the details I’m, well… not great at. Enter the candidate: Sharp. Experienced. A long tenure in two key roles. But during the interview—with two of my trusted colleagues, a VP and a member of the C-suite—she was asked a question that caught her off guard: “When was the last time you were honored?” And she cried. When they told me afterward, I’m a little ashamed to admit—my first reaction wasn’t compassion. It was judgment. I wondered if she was trying to manipulate the conversation. If she’d be “too emotional” for the demands of the role. If I was being too soft. What I didn’t see in that moment was her strength. I didn’t see the single mom going through a brutal divorce, worried about supporting three children, and feeling unsure of her place in a corporate world that often expects toughness over truth. Thankfully, I didn’t let that moment define her. I looked deeper. What I found wasn’t fragility—it was strength. What she lacked wasn’t skill—it was confidence. And that became our focus. When given responsibility, she owned it. She connected teams. Solved problems. Brought calm to chaos.  She didn’t rise because I carried her.
She soared because someone didn’t penalize her for being real. So no—I’m not saying hire every person who cries in an interview.
But I am saying this: Leaders—do better.
We say we want authenticity, but flinch when it shows up in ways that make us uncomfortable.
We say we want resilience, then miss it when it looks like quiet courage instead of loud confidence. Vulnerability is not a liability.
It’s a signal of someone who feels—and people who feel deeply often lead, serve, and show up in ways that transform teams. Don’t miss someone extraordinary because they let you see who they really are.
 Sometimes, the bravest thing a person can do… is be human in front of you. And your job?
Is to recognize that kind of strength—and hire it.

Vulnerability isn't a weakness. It's leadership without the makeup. We've created a corporate culture that celebrates masks. Perfect resumes. Flawless presentations. Rehearsed answers. Curated social media. We call it professionalism. But what we're really doing is performing humanity, not living it. Real leaders bleed in public. They admit when they don't know. They share when they're afraid. They show up with their full, imperfect selves - not because they lack discipline, but because they understand power. The power of "I made a mistake." The power of "I need help." The power of "I don't have all the answers." These aren't confessions of incompetence. They're demonstrations of courage. The kind that makes people lean in, not check out. Because here's what nobody tells you in business school: People don't connect with your achievements. They connect with your struggles. They don't follow your perfection. They follow your recovery. Your resilience. Your willingness to stand in uncertainty without pretending it's clarity. We're so busy trying to look invulnerable that we've become invisible. Another polished profile. Another corporate cutout. Another leader no one remembers because there was nothing real to hold onto. The greatest leaders I've known weren't the ones who never stumbled. They were the ones who fell in front of everyone, then got up and said "Well, that was humbling. Let me show you what I learned." Vulnerability isn't emotional chaos. It's strategic humanity. It's the difference between being respected and being trusted. Between being followed because you have authority and being followed because you have authenticity. In a world drowning in filters, the most revolutionary act is showing up unfiltered. So take off the mask. Not all at once. Not without boundaries. But enough to remind your team that behind the title, behind the metrics, behind the strategy decks - there's a human being. Learning. Growing. Sometimes struggling. Just like them. Because people don't follow perfect. They follow real.

In vulnerability lies our greatest strength I was executive coaching Jo, a CEO in the tech industry (name changed for anonymity). She's brilliant, driven, and successful. You expect her to have it all figured out. I immediately sensed guarded body language. Jo spoke about her achievements and goals but changed the subject when asked about her fears and struggles. People are often afraid to show vulnerability. I'm the same sometimes. I hide doubts and insecurities behind a mask of perfection. ↳ Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness ↳ It's the key to true connection ↳ It's the key to real leadership I knew that if Jo wanted to improve her leadership. Embracing her vulnerability would help. So I took my coaching hat off and shared my story. I spoke about starting my coaching business. I talked about feeling imposter syndrome. The doubts, fears, the nagging voice telling me I wasn't good enough - I laid it all out there. I saw a shift in her eyes and shoulders relaxing, and then she started opening up. "𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗲𝘅𝗵𝗮𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲." That moment of vulnerability changed everything. As Jo shared her struggles, she realized that this is normal. Jo committed to embracing vulnerability. She would do this in her leadership. She started sharing more with her team. She invited them into the process of solving the problems. she listened and empathized more. The impact was incredible. Her team became more engaged. They felt trusted, valued, and connected to a shared purpose. Jo became a better, kinder leader. She inspired loyalty and commitment. Jo is now happy, her team is happy, and they've all moved forward together. Research shows that people see vulnerable leaders as more real, trustworthy, and relatable. They create psychological safety, and cultures of creativity and innovation. They build deeper, more meaningful connections with their teams. As Brené Brown, a famous researcher on vulnerability, once said: → "𝗩𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲. 𝗩𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲. Have you found vulnerability to be your greatest strength? Please share your stories in the comments below - let's learn and grow together. #leadership #coaching #vulnerability #growthmindset  

In cybersecurity and AI, there’s a hidden, often unspoken fear: Fear of emotional exposure. This goes beyond the fear of losing control or failing - it’s the vulnerability of being judged. When something goes wrong - a breach, a system failure, or a misstep - the questions from others can feel cutting: ❓ “Why didn’t you foresee this?” ❓ “Was this preventable?” ❓ “Is this your fault?” It’s not just about professional competence anymore. It’s about feeling seen in ways that can challenge your confidence or even your identity. This fear of judgment can make us defensive, second-guess our instincts, or hesitate to take bold steps. But here’s the truth: ☑️ Leadership in technology is about embracing this exposure. ☑️ It’s about owning the risks, sharing the lessons, and staying transparent in the face of scrutiny. ☑️ Vulnerability is not weakness - it’s a sign of strength, courage, and growth. How do you approach moments when the spotlight feels too bright? Let’s redefine what it means to be truly resilient. 💡 #Cybersecurity #AI #Leadership #Vulnerability #GrowthMindset

Vulnerability is bravery. The word I’ve most often been called throughout my life is brave. Sometimes this has been a backhanded comment. From Mean Girls style: “wow, I’d never wear that, you’re so brave.” To “How come you’re so brave?” My most frequent question on a panel. Meaning, aren’t you afraid you’d get fired for saying that. Spoiler: I’ve been there and, whilst it’s hard, it’s worth it to leave with your values in tact. What most people mean by commenting on my bravery is that I’m openly vulnerable. Vulnerability isn’t something I’ve cultivated. I didn’t read about it in a leadership book. It’s not something I decide to do. It was a formative survival reflex. I think it requires more strength to operate in an environment where unspoken truths define what we can and can’t do, and who we can and can’t be. I need transparency / I give transparency. I need to be seen / I endeavor to see others and what they’re going through. I need to learn from others’ experience / I provide my own, good and bad. I believe that we all benefit from more transparency and mutual vulnerability. From less face, less front, and less persona. Of course, it doesn’t always come easily. Peoples’ acceptance of (and access to) vulnerability is shaped by many factors: generational norms, childhoods, the models we looked up to. It is not a part of older leadership archetypes. And, generally speaking, vulnerability and transparency feel hard to inhabit in environments when we are taught to compete with each-other for roles, resources and success. Vulnerability requires us to cultivate a generosity mindset. To trust others and engender trust in return. To share early and often. To sometimes be scrappy and loose. To try things out. This way of being creates the space for new ideas to form and leaps of faith to happen. At times in my career, people have used my openness against me. But that’s ok, these are relatively small sacrifices for a secret weapon - hiding in plain sight. Some of my favorite people on here have it too. Zoe Scaman Heidi Hackemer James Whatley , Lola Bakare Luvvie Ajayi Jones Erin Gallagher Everette Taylor Caroline Giegerich Lexi B Cindy Gallop Caroline Dettman Shelley Zalis Kory Marchisotto and Bing Chen for my daily doses of bravery in all their different flavors. Who else should I add to this must-follow list?

Boardrooms. Power suits. High stakes. Seasoned Players. And often, the only woman of color in the room. Yes, that's my world.   It has its challenges, but here's the thing I've learned: there's a strength in vulnerability, in showing up as your authentic self, even in a room full of doubt. It's a concept that resonates with the work of Brené Brown, this idea of daring to lead authentically.   This approach to leadership, prioritizing authenticity, is actually the cornerstone of how I like to lead. It's fueled by these core values:   ⚖️ 𝗘𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆: True leadership builds an environment where every voice is heard and valued. Diversity isn't a checkbox; it's the engine for innovation. For me, it is a conscious and sincere effort to champion equality because it unlocks the full potential of everyone I work with.   🧘♀️ 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗙𝘂𝗹𝗳𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁: Leading isn't a constant sprint. At a personal level for me, that means setting boundaries and prioritizing my well-being, and spending quality time with my family too. A leader running on fumes benefits no one. Putting myself first allows me to show up as my best self—energized and ready to inspire, support, and uplift my team.   🌳 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵: The world is in a state of perpetual transformation, demanding that our methods and mindsets evolve alongside it. I am dedicated to embracing vulnerability as a strength, cultivating resilience, and nurturing a culture where courageous, open dialogues pave the way for true innovation and success.   These values guide and empower my decision-making and help me never lose sight of what matters. Everyday. They enable me to remain genuine, advocate for change, and propel me in my constant endeavor to build teams that thrive.   𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽? Share your story in the comments! #leadership #vulnerability #womeninleadership   𝗖𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀? Brené Brown offers a comprehensive list you can find on  https://lnkd.in/gfaM5843 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸, 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝘄! I'd love to hear from you.