Facilitating Feedback in Training Sessions

In my first year as a manager I alienated one of my reports by giving him too much feedback in a direct and pointed way. The feedback was "right" but delivered to bluntly and thus unwelcome. Just because you “can” give feedback doesn’t mean you should. The power of your feedback comes from the trust you build with your reports. Here is how you can build it: The most important thing to understand is that even if you have the institutional authority to deliver this feedback (your title), you need the relational authority before you can deliver it effectively. Read this line again please - doing so will help you avoid either giving pain or making problems for yourself (I did both). This means that your reports need to trust and respect you before they will listen to any feedback you give. You can build this trust and respect by: 0) Being Empathetic I was too blunt. I thought that only being right or wrong mattered, not how I said things or the judgment in my tone and words. I lacked Emotional Intelligence (EQ). How you say things matters, and this means not just the words you say but the real intent behind them. My intention in that early review was not truly focused on helping the person, but rather on scolding him into better behavior. I'm not surprised he reacted poorly to it. 1) Being Consistent Good managers are consistently giving feedback—both bad and good—to their reports. Make sure you are recognizing and acknowledging your employees’ strengths as much (or more) than you are pointing out their areas for improvement. This will make them feel comfortable with you pointing out room for improvement because they know you see them for more than their flaws. 2) Never surprise someone with a review. This is related to point 1. If you are consistently giving small pieces of feedback, a more serious piece of negative feedback should not blindside your employee. They should know that it is coming and understand what the issue is. 3) Deliver corrective feedback ASAP, and use clear examples. As soon as you see a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed, address it using clear evidence. This gives the employee the chance to reflect on the behavior while it is still fresh in their minds, not months later when their review comes around. 4) Check in to confirm that you are being heard correctly Ask the employee if they understand the feedback you are giving and why you are giving it. 5) Be specific enough to drive change The more specific behaviors and examples you can use to support your feedback, the better your employee can understand that you aren’t speaking from a place of dislike or bias. This also gives them more concrete references to inform their behavior change. Readers—What other ways do you build a relationship before giving feedback? (Or, how have you messed this up?)

Your response to feedback reveals more about your leadership potential than your actual performance. After coaching hundreds of executives through difficult feedback conversations, I've learned that how you receive feedback determines how much you'll receive in the future. The feedback death spiral looks like this: 1) Someone gives you honest input 2) You get defensive or make excuses 3) They decide you're not coachable 4) They stop investing in your development 5) You stop growing What high-potential leaders do differently when receiving feedback: ✅ Stay Curious, Not Defensive Replace: "That's not what I meant" With: "Help me understand what you observed" ✅ Ask Clarifying Questions "Can you give me a specific example?" "What would you recommend I do differently?" "How did that impact you/the team?" ✅ Summarize and Confirm "What I'm hearing is..." "Let me make sure I understand..." "The key takeaway for me is..." ✅ Express Genuine Gratitude • Thank them for their courage to speak up • Even if the delivery wasn't perfect • Even if you disagree with the content Treat feedback like market research about your leadership brand. The person giving it is your customer, telling you about their experience with your "product." You don't have to agree with all feedback, but you should always understand it. The best leaders I coach actively seek feedback because they know their careers depend on what they can't see about themselves. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Follow Joshua Miller #executivecoaching #feedback #leadership #careeradvice #business

Q. Is a "feedback sandwich" still a best practice? (a word of praise followed by constructive feedback, then more praise)? A. No. When a "feedback sandwich" is effective it's not because of the "sandwich" format. It's because there is already enough trust established between the manager and the employee that the employee can accept the manager's suggestions easily - meaning the "sandwich" wasn't even necessary. The reason so much managerial feedback is badly received by employees is not because of the way it's delivered. It's because the relationship between the manager and the employee isn't strong enough. We easily accept feedback from people we trust - like a family member or good friend. A manager can establish that level of trust by being someone employees look up to and respect. It takes time to build trust but it's absolutely worth it. When your teammates trust and respect you, it's because you trust and respect them too. When you reach that point, they'll not only listen to your feedback, they'll ask for it. For years managers have been taught that certain words or phrases or techniques like the "feedback sandwich" will help their feedback be better received, but this is bad advice. It goes counter to everything we know about people. If the reason you're able to give feedback is because you're the manager and they are not - an unequal power relationship - your feedback is not likely to do any good. It can easily damage your relationships even further. Trust is the key. Someone has a PTO request? Make it your highest priority to approve it. Someone needs you to look at a document? Do it as quickly as you can. There's no mystery about how to build trust on your team. The problem is that in many organizations they don't talk about this topic. They don't give it much importance. They assume that being a manager is enough. You're the manager, so employees must listen to you. But it's not true. If there's too little trust, your feedback will feel like a threat. With trust in the mix, you'll address anything that needs to be shared in the moment, like this: YOU: Sandy, what was the story with that Acme Explosives thing? SANDY: Oh, they have a new Receiving person who didn't see the Priority code on the bill of lading. We got it straightened out. YOU: Great, thanks. Somebody at Acme was hot about it. Leo, I think? He called me. I talked him down but he wasn't thrilled. SANDY: He's the Receiving manager. Thanks for talking to him. YOU: What can we do when that kind of thing happens, to avoid a small problem blowing up? SANDY: I got too worked up. I was trying to help the new Receiving guy but I guess he was nervous about making a mistake, so he was defensive and I was too harsh. That's my bad. Sorry about that. YOU: Okay, no problem, do I need to do anything else? SANDY: No, I'll shoot Leo an email and copy you in. I know what to say. YOU: Tremendous, thanks!

🤐 "Dead Air" on Zoom? It’s Not Disengagement — It’s Cultural. 🌏 Your global team is brilliant, but meetings are met with silence. You ask for input, and… nothing. It’s not that they don’t care. It’s cultural. In many cultures, challenging a leader publicly can feel disrespectful. Speaking up might risk "losing face." So, instead of collaboration, you get cautious nods, and critical ideas die quietly. 💥 The cost? Missed feedback, hidden conflicts, derailed timelines, and talent feeling unseen and unheard. But it doesn’t have to be this way. 🚀 Here’s how to encourage real participation and build trust across cultures — starting today. 1️⃣ Invite opinions privately first. Many cultures value privacy and may hesitate to disagree publicly. Before the meeting, send out an agenda and ask for input by email or private chat. This gives team members time to reflect and feel safer sharing. 2️⃣ Create "round robin" sharing moments. During the call, explicitly invite each person to share, one by one. Use phrases like: "I’d love to hear a quick insight from everyone, no wrong answers." This reduces the fear of interrupting or "stepping out of line." 3️⃣ Model vulnerability as a leader. Share your own uncertainties or challenges first. For example: "I’m not sure this is the best approach — I’d really value your perspective." When you show it’s safe to be open, your team will follow. 4️⃣ Acknowledge and validate contributions publicly. After someone shares, affirm them clearly. For example: "Thank you for that perspective — it really helps us see this from a new angle." This builds psychological safety and encourages future participation. 5️⃣ Use cultural "mirroring" techniques. Mirror verbal and non-verbal cues appropriate to different cultures (e.g., nodding, using supportive phrases). Show respect for varying communication styles instead of forcing a "one-size-fits-all" dynamic. ✨Imagine meetings where every voice is heard and your team’s full potential is unlocked. Ready to stop the silence and turn diversity into your superpower? #CulturalCompetence #GlobalLeadership #InclusiveTeams #PsychologicalSafety #CrossCulturalCommunication 

"No one on my team wants to be coached!" Everyone says they want to grow, until I start coaching them.” A common, and frustrating challenge most managers experience. “I’m asking more questions. I’m coaching instead of telling & giving them answers. But now my team’s avoiding me. I asked, “How did you introduce coaching to them?” He said, “I didn’t. I just started doing it.” "Therein lies the root cause of the problem," I responded. "If yesterday you were the Chief Problem Solver for them & today, you’re asking questions to empower them to share their ideas & solutions, you will experience resistance because you changed the rules without telling them why. They don't understand your intentions, what you're doing & why you've changed. And when intentions aren’t clear, people default to fear." "Ouch, I can see that." "They’ll assume they’re being tested. They’ll give you what they think you want to hear. They'll assume what you are doing is some sort or micromanagement or remedial punishment. That’s not coaching. That feels like survival." 🗣 Here’s the enrollment conversation that creates instant buy-in around coaching: "What I want for you is to experience the success you want in your career. Like sports, the coach makes sure each player is at the top of their game & why I’m learning how to be a better coach. This journey is something we’re both going through, which is why I’ll be asking for feedback and coaching from you. What’s most important is you understand my intentions. Let’s schedule time to talk about coaching and your experiences so we can set expectations & align around what I can do to make it a valuable experience. Are you open to discussing this?" "Well, that would have certainly changed the outcome and their reactions," the manager said with a sense of relief & excitement." "Now, you’ve created psychological safety. They know what you want for them," I shared. "But you're not done yet. Now it's time to move the conversation forward to achieve your intent." 1. How would you define coaching? 2. What’s your past experience with being coached? 3. What would make this valuable for you? 4. What do you expect of me as your coach? 5. What goals should we focus on? 6. How do you like to be managed? 7. How can I hold you accountable in a supportive way? 8. How should I bring up tough feedback? 9. Do you have any concerns about coaching? 10. How are you feeling about this conversation so far? Then, “Let’s book our first session.” "People don’t resist coaching, I explained. "They resist uncertainty, which breeds fear. Clarity builds the trust, which opens the door for authentic impactful coaching to begin." People don’t resist coaching. They resist the way we introduce it. Forced coaching fails. No intent = no trust. Instead: ⭐ Make it a gift. ⭐ Make it clear. ⭐ Make it human. ⭐ Make it safe. That’s when real, engaged and impactful coaching begins. #Leadership #Culture #PsychologicalSafety #EmployeeEngagement #trust

Most leaders don’t struggle to give feedback because they lack good intentions, they struggle because they lack the right frameworks. We say things like: 🗣 “This wasn’t good enough.” 🗣 “You need to speak up more.” 🗣 “That project could’ve been tighter.” But vague feedback isn’t helpful, it’s confusing. And often, it demoralizes more than it motivates. That’s why I love this visual from Rachel Turner (VC Talent Lab). It lays out four highly actionable, research-backed frameworks for giving better feedback: → The 3 Ps Model: Praise → Problem → Potential. Start by recognizing what worked. Then gently raise what didn’t. End with a suggestion for how things could improve. → The SBI Model: Situation → Behavior → Impact. This strips out judgment and makes feedback objective. Instead of “You’re too aggressive in meetings,” it becomes: “In yesterday’s meeting (Situation), you spoke over colleagues multiple times (Behavior), which made some feel unable to share (Impact).” → Harvard’s HEAR Framework: A powerful structure for disagreement. Hedge claims. Emphasize agreement. Acknowledge their point. Reframe to solutions. → General Feedback Tips: – Be timely. – Be specific. – Focus on behavior, not identity. – Reinforce the positive (and remember the 5:1 rule). Here’s what I tell senior FMCG leaders all the time: Good feedback builds performance. Great feedback builds culture. The best feedback builds trust, and that’s what retains your best people. So next time you hesitate before giving hard feedback? Remember this: → You’re not there to criticize. → You’re there to build capacity. Save this as your cheat sheet. Share it with your teams. Let’s make feedback a tool for growth, not fear. #Leadership #FMCG #TalentDevelopment #PerformanceCulture #FeedbackMatters #ExecutiveDevelop

Have you ever felt that immediate internal bristle when someone gives you #feedback? That visceral "but, but, but..." response that bubbles up before you've even fully processed what they've said? I had one of those moments just last week. A client mentioned that my explanation of a leadership framework "went a bit into the weeds". My first thought? "But I was just being thorough!" (Complete with an internal eye roll that would make any teenager proud.) #Defensiveness is such a natural human response. Our brains are literally wired to protect our self-image — it's not a character flaw, it's neurobiology! (Thanks, brain.) But here's what I've learned from years of both giving and receiving difficult feedback: how we handle those defensive moments often determines whether we grow from feedback or just barely survive it. Here's my toolkit for when those defensive walls go up (and they will): 1. Notice the feeling without jumping to action. When your chest tightens or your thoughts race toward justification, just label it: "This is defensiveness showing up." That tiny pause creates space between feeling and reacting. 2. Remember that impact beats intent every time. My intentions for that workshop were excellent (thoroughness!), but if the impact was confusion, that's what matters. My good intentions don't erase someone else's experience. 3. Reframe feedback as a catalyst for improvement and growth. The people who tell us uncomfortable truths are offering us something valuable. Sometimes the feedback that stings most contains the exact insight we need. (I have found that the truer the feedback is, the more it hurts.) 4. Focus on specific behaviors rather than your identity. There's a world of difference between "that explanation was confusing" and "you're a confusing person." Separate the action from your sense of self. 5. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. You're allowed to be a work in progress. (I know that I sure am.) Developing this #mindset transforms defensiveness from a threat to your worth into a normal part of your growth journey. What are your go-to strategies when defensiveness strikes? I'd love to hear what works for you. And yes, I'll shorten my explanation for the next time. Sometimes, the feedback that makes us squirm today often becomes the #wisdom we're grateful for tomorrow. #Professionaldevelopment #leadership #emotionalIntelligence #Feedbackculture

Giving feedback is HARD. The best managers use this trick to get it right. Mastering the art of feedback is a balancing act: ❌ Too vague and it’s useless. ❌ Too sharp and it hurts feelings. ❌ Too late and you miss the moment. The secret? Don’t ever “wing it.” Prepare ahead with a template. The point isn't to sound rehearsed or robotic. It's to get the words right. Here are my three go-to frameworks to help managers give better feedback and drive better performance on their teams. 🗺️ Situation, Behavior, Impact (SBI) ↳ Situation: Yesterday’s standup   ↳ Behavior: You cut off Jamie mid-sentence   ↳ Impact: It shut down the conversation and we didn’t hear the full idea Best for anchoring feedback in observable facts and giving quick, frequent notes. Reduces defensiveness and keeps info clear. 🌱 The GROW Model ↳ Goal: What’s your goal for this project?   ↳ Reality: Where do you think things are now?   ↳ Options: What paths have you considered?   ↳ Way Forward: What’s one step you’ll take this week? Best for turning situations into a coaching moment. Empowers the teammate to reflect and self-correct. 🔥 STATE My Path from "Crucial Conversations" ↳ Share your facts: “Deadlines in the last two sprints slipped by 2–3 days.” ↳ Tell your story: “To me, that signals something's off with team alignment.” ↳ Ask for others’ paths: “What’s your take on this?” ↳ Talk tentatively: “I could be missing something, help me understand." ↳ Encourage testing: "Let’s figure it out together.” Best for potentially tricky situations with high emotions and stakes. Can help surface tough feedback or conversations. ✨ Still stuck on what to say? Kona by 15Five can help you work on these feedback frameworks, based on what actually happened in the meeting. #management #peopleops #leadership #learninganddevelopment #hr --- What tricks do you have for getting better at feedback? What conversations are you (or your managers) avoiding? Let me know in the comments, and let’s talk about it! Did this resonate? Repost or share it! We're always looking to spread knowledge and information to help managers be great. ♻️ And follow me (Yen Tan) for more manager dev and L&D shenanigans.

Last week, I had the privilege of facilitating a three-day leadership training for all the managers and directors of a local government agency. The day our training began, I received heartbreaking news: a family friend had died by suicide as a result of a workplace issue. The tragedy was a gut-wrenching reminder that what happens inside our organizations—and inside our people—matters deeply. It reinforced why I begin almost every leadership training with the foundation of the Step into Your Moxie® Vocal Empowerment System: developing a strong Inner Voice. When leaders don’t understand or tend to their own inner dialogue—or the voices that dominate their team members’ internal narratives—employee engagement, performance, and well-being suffer. Sometimes, the consequences are far worse. So, in this training, we lingered longer than usual on self-talk. We explored: What voices hold the mic in your head, especially during uncomfortable moments? How does that internal chatter show up in communication and leadership with team members? What do you think the people you lead say to themselves, especially when they make a mistake, receive feedback, or feel overwhelmed? And then we got practical. When we transitioned into a module on coaching direct reports through a performance improvement plan, we began with empathy mapping. Because we had spent time building intrapersonal awareness, participants were able to go deeper, to look past surface-level behaviors and identify fears, assumptions, and narratives driving their employees’ actions. We talked about how to do this in the real world, especially during 1-on-1s and more formal coaching moments. We talked about how to take these insights into everyday leadership. Participants identified the importance of: -Beginning 1-on-1s with a genuine check-in—asking how people are really doing, and gently probing when someone’s initial answer feels surface-level. -Shifting from “How do I fix this?” to “Where does this person need support?”—and staying open to the idea that what people most need may not be more training or resources, but to feel seen and heard. -Removing isolation and building trust—by creating consistent space for honest dialogue, leaders reduce stigma and strengthen the foundation for positive mental health at work. When leaders prioritize presence over perfection—and connection over correction—they help rewrite the internal narratives that so often go unchecked. This is how we create cultures where people not only perform better, but also feel safer, stronger, and more human at work. Because sometimes, the most powerful leadership skill we have is helping someone shift the voice that says they’re not enough or that they’re alone as they navigate tough times.

Do you have trouble getting the entire team to participate in group discussions, brainstorming sessions, etc.? To get people talking in group settings, create a safe and inclusive atmosphere. Here's how: 1. Set Ground Rules: Make it clear that all opinions are valued and that it's a judgment-free zone. 2. Small Talk First: Warm up with light topics so folks get comfortable speaking. 3. Use Open-Ended Questions: Questions that can't be answered with just "yes" or "no" open up the floor for more detailed discussion. 4. Direct Invitations: Sometimes people just need a nudge. Call on them directly but offer an easy out like, "Feel free to pass." 5. Silent Moments: Pause and allow silence. This gives people time to gather their thoughts and often encourages quieter folks to chime in. 6. Positive Reinforcement: When someone does speak up, validate their contribution, even if it's just a simple "great point." 7. Anonymity: Use tools or methods that let people contribute anonymously. Then discuss the anonymous points as a group. 8. Break into Smaller Groups: Big settings can be intimidating. Smaller group discussions can make it easier for people to open up. 9. Rotate Roles: Give different team members the role of facilitator or note-taker in each meeting to encourage active participation. 10. Follow-Up: If someone doesn't speak up but you think they have valuable insights, follow up privately. They may be more comfortable sharing one-on-one. Remember, the goal is not to pressure people into speaking but to make it easier for them to do so if they wish. #leadership #teambuilding #communication