How to Ask for Feedback Without Fear

Cristicism is not feedback! Feedback can be constructive, should be structured and talking about how the giver can also help the receiver to improve. You don't say: "You had a bad project results!", you say: "I have seen that x,y, z skills are needed for you to improve the results of the project that you are working on. I am here to help you, let me know how I can do this!" See the differrence ? Feel the impact on how words can shape the future? Disrespect is offering just criticism and then no responsability for what you say to others.

I cringe when I hear the words “blunt feedback”. We like to think feedback should always be given, no matter what. We’re almost aggressively pro-feedback. But the reality is more nuanced. Not all feedback is helpful. If it undermines confidence, triggers defensiveness, or comes at the wrong moment, it can do more harm than good. Timing matters as much as content. Sometimes, holding back and choosing the right moment makes the feedback far more effective than delivering it immediately. Tone also matters. Your team might not be as passionate about constant feedback as you might be. Be thoughtful, intentional, and aware of its impact. We are not robots. Feedback should work at an emotional level. It should build, guide, and empower. Not just check a box. Because it’s not about how much feedback you give. It’s about how much change it brings.

To be precise, not only feedback but a constructive feedback which is specific, actionable information shared with the intention of helping an individual or team improve their performance or behavior. It goes beyond simple criticism which often lacks solutions and can feel negative or dismissive. Instead, constructive feedback highlights both strengths and areas for growth, offers concrete suggestions, and fosters a supportive, solution-oriented dialogue. I strongly encourage all of us to start and keep giving constructive feedback. Because when feedback is delivered with the right mindset and purpose, it doesn’t tear us down IT BUILDS US UP. It feels good when we both WIN. All the best, Elias A. Mtelevu

Feedback is a Mirror, Not a Verdict It’s natural to take feedback personally. But that mindset can keep you stuck. Feedback is simply a reflection of how your work is landing right now. It’s not a statement on your worth, and it’s not fixed in stone. The most successful people I know treat feedback like data. They don’t fight it or ignore it, they mine it for clues. Because here’s the thing: even the most critical feedback has value. It shows you how to adjust, how to refine, how to make your work impossible to overlook. You can choose to see feedback as a wall, or as a window. One stops you. The other shows you a way forward.

Feedback Is Not Criticism. Silence Is. People often confuse feedback with negativity. They avoid it to stay comfortable, or they soften it to remain polite. But the real danger is not tough feedback. It is silence. Silence allows problems to grow, enables mediocrity to settle, and tells people their effort does not matter enough to engage with. Strong teams do not avoid feedback. They rely on it. Not to judge but to improve, not to embarrass but to elevate. In my own leadership, I would rather have someone challenge an idea than quietly agree and watch it fail. Silence protects egos, not outcomes. Feedback, when given with clarity and trust, is not a threat. It is a sign of commitment. It says I believe you can do better, and I care enough to help you get there. If you want high performance, do not ask for comfort. Ask for honesty.

Feedback can make or break a career depending on how it’s given. One of my mentees working for one of the NGOs was considering quitting her job after receiving negative feedback from her supervisor. As I listened to her story, I could sense there was some malice involved, yet, I also reminded her of this: whether feedback is positive or negative, it carries lessons for growth. Feedback helps us see blind spots, build resilience, and refine how we show up at work. Even when it comes wrapped in unfairness, it can still be used as fuel for growth. Don’t let negative feedback push you to quit prematurely. Instead, sift through it, take what builds you, and use the rest as motivation to grow stronger. That said, I also want to encourage leaders: feedback should never be weaponized. It should not come from a place of malice, but from a genuine desire to guide, empower, and build people. Constructive feedback is what strengthens teams and grows individuals into their full potential. Let us use feedback as a tool for building, not breaking. Have you ever turned negative feedback into a stepping stone for your career growth? I’d love to hear your story. #Leadership #Mentorship #CareerGrowth #Feedback #Resilience

If you’re scared to give feedback because you might “offend” someone — listen up. 👇 Not all feedback is good feedback. Bad feedback is: 👉 Dropped at the wrong time 👉 Vague and unhelpful (“Do better” isn’t really a direction) 👉 Worded like an attack When you do that, you don’t “help”. You confuse, frustrate, and alienate. That’s on you. Good feedback is: 👉 Specific, actionable, and clear 👉 Given at the right moment 👉 Rooted in care, not ego When you do that, most people will thank you. A few won’t, but then that’s on them. Your job isn’t to protect people from feedback. It’s knowing how and when to deliver it.

Never ask for feedback. Do this instead. The moment you ask for feedback, you give others the authority to start finding faults in you. And here’s the truth: people will always find something. That doesn’t mean they want to help you grow, it just means they’ve been invited to point out what’s “wrong.” If you really want to grow, flip the script. Ask: - What’s the best advice you’d give me to improve? - What’s one thing you think could help me grow faster? Notice the difference? You’ve shifted the energy. Instead of digging for negativity, you’re directing people toward constructive advice. Feedback can feel like judgment. Advice feels like guidance. And guidance is what helps you move forward. #feedback

We all get feedback, but how you receive it is often more important than the feedback itself. Instead of getting defensive, try this three-step approach: 👂 Listen to Understand, Not to Reply: Focus on hearing the core message. Avoid interrupting with explanations or excuses. 🙏 Say Thank You: A simple "Thank you for taking the time to share this" diffuses tension and shows respect for the person giving the feedback. ❓ Ask Clarifying Questions: Use phrases like, "Can you give me an example of what that looked like?" or "What would you suggest I do differently next time?" This shows you're taking it seriously and helps turn the critique into actionable steps. Great feedback is a gift—it shows someone cares enough about your growth to invest their time.